


Endings/Beginnings

by walterscott



Category: North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell | UK TV
Genre: Angst, Awkward John, Cheating, F/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 17:21:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 45,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18319817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walterscott/pseuds/walterscott
Summary: Margaret and John are middle-aged, and have never met. Margaret is married, John is divorced, Hannah is sick.





	Endings/Beginnings

Chapter 1. Transitions; Bad News.

John sighed. 

He stopped packing and sat at his desk, head in his hands. He didn’t travel much, he’d always been too busy at the hospital and office, and he’d never packed his own bags before. Ann had always taken care of those things, including the last time she did it for him a year and a half ago. 

He’d always left all domestic things to her, at her insistence. Ann said she wanted to create an oasis for him, away from the stress and long hours of his work as the head of orthopedics at St. Joseph’s. She said the large house was necessary for entertaining his colleagues, community leaders, hospital benefactors. And she did put on great dinner parties; she was the consummate hostess. The house was always immaculate, with cleaning help coming in three days a week. Everything was always perfectly arranged, from the pillows on the sofas, to the flowers on the table in the foyer, to his shoes in his closet.

He had always given her everything she asked for, the huge house in the right neighborhood, the right kind of cars, smart vacations even when he couldn’t get away himself, a nanny and private schools for Max and Beth. Of course, he noticed that there was always something else that she needed in order to make things perfect for them, and of course, he always gave it to her. Didn’t all the other doctors do the same for their wives?

So it came as a shock to him when he came home late one evening almost a year and a half ago and she told him they were getting a divorce after 25 years of marriage. His packed bags were in the foyer. Ann told him she had called Hannah and she was expecting him at her apartment in the city. And that was it. She didn’t love him, she had found someone who paid more attention to her, and goodbye John. He was standing in shock outside the door just fifteen minutes after his arrival home.

The divorce was surprisingly amicable; they had very little to argue over. Her banker father had left her a great deal of money, much more than John’s very successful practice would ever generate, so support was not an issue. Both children were grown and living on their own. He didn’t care about the house, but she wasn’t interested in it either, as her prospective husband had an even larger one. The whole thing was over in eight months. John and Hannah declined Ann’s invitation to her wedding three weeks later. Amicable was fine, but he drew the line at celebrating her new life with someone else.

John had thought long and hard about their marriage when he’d moved out of the house. He knew that he and Ann had never had a grand passion for each other. They had married after John had finished medical school and residency. They enjoyed each other’s company, they’d known each other for years; they just kind of drifted into marriage; it was simply expected by all of their friends and family. The marriage had been … agreeable, and, if John admitted it to himself, undemanding of him emotionally.

The sex had tapered off rather quickly after the children were born, but John figured that was the norm for busy couples. John was never unfaithful to Ann. He believed in the commitment he had made, and ignored the crude talk of some other doctors about their extra-marital affairs. He just wasn’t interested in that, Ann didn’t deserve that. Ann never had to plead headaches, John was so late coming home so often that she was generally asleep by the time he went upstairs, and so he couldn’t really object when she decided they needed separate bedrooms. Did other people have more than that, he wondered? Should he, could he, have demanded more? Had he really missed something, or was passion inside marriage just a myth, the stuff of romantic novels? 

After the divorce was finalized, John moved back into the house, and Hannah moved there as well. He and Fran both thought their mother was at an age where she should not be living alone anymore, and her city neighborhood was no longer as safe as it had been when she had moved there so many years ago. There were separate wings in the house, so they each still had their privacy. It worked for both of them, and Hannah enjoyed feeling useful again, running the household for him. 

Hannah encouraged John to date again. She knew her son to be a wonderful man, and she had seen the emptiness of his marriage long before the divorce. She had never said a word against Ann - John wouldn’t hear it - but he deserved so much more. He did try dating, but found all of the women his own age that he thought were interesting were already in a relationship. Those who were available wanted nothing more than to be married and they weren’t shy in letting him know it. He was definitely not ready for that so soon after the divorce. And, unlike many of his colleagues who were on second or third marriages, he really wasn’t interested in women who hadn’t been born yet when he was already in medical school. He had difficulty talking to much younger women, not having the same reference points politically, musically, historically, emotionally. How could he marry someone he couldn’t even have a serious discussion with? He turned to work to fill the void.

Max and Beth had stayed with them while they were home for their mother’s wedding. Max loved his job on a cattle station in Australia. He had always been an outdoors person, never really happy in school, and had refused flat out to go to university, much to his parents’ chagrin. But John could see that he was happy now, and happier still as he talked about a girl named Serena, who was a primary school teacher in the closest town. 

Beth had just completed her studies at the London School of Economics and had landed a job at a large bank in the City. She smiled at her father as she answered his many questions about her love life, telling him she was still happy playing the field. What she didn’t tell him was that seeing her parents’ marriage close up was definitely not an incentive to get married. She wanted a marriage of passion, where her husband was a good friend as well as a lover. Seeing her father alone now saddened her, because she knew he never had that with her mother, and would probably never have it.

It was about eight months after Hannah came to live at John’s that she started having the headaches. She dismissed it at first, as she was never one to complain about minor aches and pains. But the headaches weren’t like any she had ever had before, and she just didn’t feel right. John noticed that she was taking analgesic more than she ever had. He became alarmed when she finally admitted the headaches bothered her enough that she had spoken to her primary physician about them, and that he had brushed it off as stress from her son’s divorce and from moving house.

John called Dr Hamper, the head neurologist at St. Joseph’s. He explained his concern and asked him to see Hannah as soon as possible. John expected to go to Dr Hamper’s office a few days later to discuss the MRI results, and possible causes of the headaches, but received a telephone call the same day as Hannah’s appointment, urging him to come to the office immediately. Hannah and Dr Hamper were waiting for him. 

The MRI had revealed a brain tumor. Hannah appeared to take the news calmly, although all colour had drained from her face. John’s mind was racing - benign or malignant, how big, growing how fast, surgery, radiation, chemotherapy - but the biggest question - where should they go for the best treatment, for the best possible outcome for Hannah? Dr Hamper, proud of their own facilities, didn’t hesitate to recommend that they start treatment at St. Joseph’s immediately.

Instead, John called Adam Bell, whom he had befriended during his residency at Columbia many years earlier. Adam was a neurologist on staff at Sloan Kettering in New York City. There was a telephone consultation between Dr Hamper and two oncologists at Sloan Kettering, and a review of the scanned MRI that very afternoon. Adam called John to tell him in no uncertain terms that Hannah had to come to New York. John didn’t hesitate. He arranged an extended leave of absence and they were scheduled to fly to New York this afternoon, just three days later. They would stay as long as necessary. 

John sighed again. It had been a difficult year and a half, and the worst lay ahead of them.

Chapter 2. Looking to the Future.

Margaret sighed.

The house was quiet again, except for Luke, their eighteen year old cat, who seemed to never shut up in his quest for more, and different, food. Nothing satisfied him anymore. His kidneys didn’t work properly, he was blind in one eye and going deaf, he wobbled when he walked, and he woke them up at 4:30 in the morning for food, but he was part of the family, so they just sighed and opened another tin to tempt him. They knew they would have to make a decision about him soon, but he didn’t seem to be in any pain, so ...

Mary and the twins had just left for the airport after a visit of two weeks. How Mary kept up with Tom and Kate, Margaret didn’t know. They were a whirlwind of activity from morning till night. Kate was fair like her mother, even tempered, almost placid, but Tom was the image of his father, dark hair, green eyes, quick to laugh. Margaret thought back to when Richard was a small boy and smiled at the memories, then her throat tightened and she felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. Richard had died almost two years ago, and the ache was still there. 

Richard had collapsed as he stepped from the shower one morning. If he had been at home with Mary, he might have survived, but he was traveling on business, so they were really just guessing what happened. He was dead by the time anyone found him. The autopsy gave the cause of death as rupture of a cerebral (berry) aneurysm. That was probably the explanation for the headaches he’d been having for two weeks before he died, slow leakage from a minor tear in the aneurysm before it ruptured altogether.

Margaret loved her daughter-in-law. She had seen the love she and Richard shared. Mary was raising those children beautifully. They talked about their daddy every day and had wonderful memories of him, which Margaret knew were kept alive by Mary. Margaret had been surprised when Mary had spoken about meeting someone, but she knew it had been inevitable, and she also knew Richard would have wanted it. Mary was still a young woman, taking care of two small children on her own. She deserved happiness and Margaret wouldn’t begrudge her that. She had spoken so warmly of Stephen, carefully trying to gauge Margaret’s reaction, that Margaret knew she had fallen in love. Margaret just hugged her tightly, unable to say anything, but smiling with happiness for her.

Margaret heard Henry returning from the trip to the airport. Margaret had been unable to go with them because she was on duty, but Henry didn’t mind. He enjoyed talking to Mary about Richard, learning things about his son that he never knew. Henry had loved Richard but they hadn’t been close, and their communication skills with each other had not been great. He had expected things of Richard, the same way Henry’s father had expected things of him, and both fathers had been disappointed, but in different ways. Fathers and sons.

Henry came into the kitchen and kissed Margaret on the cheek. They talked about Mary’s visit, how the children were growing so fast, six years old now and as skinny as their daddy had been when he was small. Margaret asked Henry if he and Mary talked about Stephen and if there were any concrete plans. It turned out they were talking about marriage, not soon, but definitely in the future; so it is serious, Margaret thought.

As they talked, Henry moved closer to Margaret to kiss her, and then kissed her again as she responded warmly. They wrapped their arms around each other and spent some time kissing deeply. As Henry’s hands started wandering over Margaret’s body, she laughed softly and reminded him that it was duty day, so this was going no further right now - just watch out later. Henry smiled and raised his eyebrows, saying, “Promise?”

Just as Henry said he was going to make the tea, Margaret’s pager went off. She headed out the door, climbed into the truck and was out of the driveway in less than a minute. A bit more than an hour later Margaret was home, having transported their patient to the local hospital and restocked their bags and rig for the next call. It had been a quiet day, only three calls so far, but she had another three hours on duty, so it wasn’t time to relax yet.

Margaret had joined the ambulance corps nearly eight years earlier. She was glad that she didn’t have to work a nine-to-five job, because the need for daytime volunteers was pretty desperate in the area. There were so few volunteers in surrounding towns during the day that half of the calls Margaret went on were not in Crampton. Some of the other EMTs grumbled about having to go into other towns so often, but Margaret didn’t care. It didn’t matter to her where a sick or injured person lived, in the McMansions in Crampton, the overcrowded apartments in Marlborough or Haseltine, or on the streets, for those unfortunate people with no permanent place to live at all. They needed help, that’s all that really mattered.

Margaret found it a little exasperating that her mother simply could not understand why she joined the ambulance corps. Maria continued to ask all these years later why Margaret did it, not being able to understand the desire to help someone you didn’t know or at least have some obligation to. She understood helping family, and helping friends to a lesser degree, but volunteering to help strangers? And to see blood and other unpleasant things when you didn’t have to? Maria shuddered at the thought. Margaret just repeated her reasons whenever Maria brought it up. Her mother had a small world, and nothing Margaret could say would enlarge it.

Margaret had always been relatively slender, and she fancied herself strong for her size. But she had found herself helping to lift and maneuver people who could not manage moving themselves, and often they weighed two, three, sometimes four times what she did. She realized excess weight was often the result of illness and being unable to move enough to burn calories. It was simply another reason they needed help. But it did put quite a physical strain on the volunteers, particularly on their backs. Back trouble was the number one reason volunteers left the corps.

Margaret realized that she needed to stay in shape for this work, so that she could do her fair share of the heavy lifting, and so she wouldn’t injure herself. She had started to go the gym two or three days a week to stay fit and at first, she had enjoyed the routine. She had convinced Henry to join the gym as well, as he had started to put on some weight as he got older. But he was bored by it, and eventually he would walk on the treadmill for about fifteen minutes, then just stand and wait for Margaret to finish. She often found herself cutting her routine short, so as not to keep Henry waiting long. He stopped going altogether after the first couple of years. In the past year or two, Margaret herself had became a little less dedicated to the gym and a little more dedicated to chocolate. She could see the results, and she wasn’t happy about it.

She decided about two months earlier that she was ready to tackle the changes she had let creep up on her body. It had been so easy to lose weight when she was younger, but it didn’t seem to be dropping off so easily now, even with those semi-regular visits to the gym. So she started going to the gym every single day, no more excuses. She made it a priority. She worked out for 45 minutes every morning except duty day. After about three weeks, she began to feel the change in her body. She also discovered that it revived her interest in other things, and she felt better in many ways.

Luke walked stiffly into the kitchen and cried at her, begging with his one good eye. Yes, there was food in the bowl, but not what he wanted right now. Margaret sighed, and opened another tin.

It had been a difficult two years, and Margaret thought the worst was behind them.

Chapter 3. Challenges

John and Hannah sat in Dr Aboudy’s conference room on the second morning after they had left home. Hannah had already had an MRI that morning, and Dr Aboudy had reviewed it with her colleagues. Now John and Hannah needed to hear what her options were, and the best plan for a successful outcome. The doctors presented the treatment plan that their experience indicated would have the best chance of extending Hannah’s life.

Hannah’s outward appearance of calmness belied her inner thoughts. She heard only bits and pieces of what the doctors were saying - tumor, right frontal lobe; almost certainly malignant, immediate surgery; borders - what does that mean? impossible to guarantee - some malignant cells missed, radiation - chemotherapy, cell type. What does any of this mean? John will know, he will know what to do, he will see me right, he always has.

The doctors told them their best estimates of the outcomes if they chose surgery only, surgery and radiation, or all three treatments. The consensus among the five doctors was that all three - surgery, radiation and chemotherapy - would be required to give Hannah the best outcome, and that was their recommendation.

The doctors finished their presentation and looked at John and Hannah for questions, hoping they had been able to digest all of the information they had just been given. Hannah simply turned to John and looked at him. John put his hand over hers and smiled reassuringly at her. Dr Aboudy said, “Dr Thornton, Mrs Thornton, I’ll be in my office. Please come in after you’ve taken whatever time you need to discuss your options. If you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. We want you to feel that you have all the information you need to make an informed decision.”

After the doctors left, Hannah turned to John. “John, I trust you to make this decision for me, for all of us really. You know what they were talking about, I certainly don’t. I know you’ll be honest with me, you always have been. If you tell me it’s hopeless, that this is just a delaying tactic, then my choice is to go home now. But if you tell me that the options are real … ” Hannah stopped and closed her eyes, unable to continue.

She cleared her throat and said, “Let me just say this. I’ve had a good life, you and Fran have been a blessing to me. You’ve been a son any mother would be proud of, and I want to live long enough to see you happy again. You deserve so much more in your life. I’d love to see some great-grandchildren too,” she added with a little smile.

John looked at Hannah, seeing the woman who had done everything in her power to provide for him and Fran after their father had died suddenly. Hannah went from full time homemaker to working two jobs to support the family. She exhorted him every day to give his fullest to his schoolwork, insisting that he finish university rather than leave to support her and Fran. She gave her fullest to her family, and he could never repay her for all she had done. We won’t let her down now.

John stood up and kissed his mother’s cheek. “Mother, I know we have no guarantees, but the success rate at this hospital is the best in the country. This isn’t good, but it isn’t hopeless and we must try. All of us need you with us.“ He opened the door and asked Adam to step in again. “Adam, we are going to go ahead with the treatment plan outlined by Dr Aboudy. Please come with us to talk to her.”

After further consultation with Dr Aboudy and the team, Hannah’s surgery was scheduled for later that same week. In the meantime, she was put on a different medication for the headaches that she was still having every day. John called Fran and told her what had been decided and how they were proceeding. Fran had decided she would come to stay with them for at least the first two or three months of treatment, to help in any way she could. She had already discussed this with Fred, and he understood how important it was for her to be there for her mother and brother now. Fred would fly in regularly to see her. She told John she would be in New York before the scheduled surgery.

Adam had done some very quick work in finding an appropriate place for John and Hannah to stay during the months Hannah would be undergoing treatment. Adam had a friend in real estate who prepared a list of houses for them to look at. Meanwhile, they would stay with Adam. They were in agreement that they would not stay in the city. Assuming everything went well with surgery and treatment, Hannah would need a lot of rest and would not feel well enough to be going out to museums and concerts on any kind of regular basis. They could drive into the city any time they wanted, and decided the quiet of the suburbs was their best choice.

John didn’t want to tire Hannah with looking at houses, and decided to wait for Fran. His sister would be very happy with the task of finding a place for them to live for the next several months. Her own style was a little ostentatious to suit John, a legacy from her marriage to Leonards, John thought, but Fran knew what Hannah liked and would respect Hannah’s preferences in style and decoration as best she could with whatever choices they had. They were both concerned primarily with having a warm, comfortable and restful home for Hannah while she was under treatment; there wouldn’t be any arguments about smartening up the décor of whatever they found.

Within two hours of her arrival, Fran had viewed four houses and found one she was certain would suit them all. It was in Crampton, just fifteen minutes from the bridge into New York. Fran called John on his mobile. “John, I’ve found the house, big enough for all of us, available immediately, fully furnished, convenient to the city. It’s on a single level, and there are two extra bedrooms for visitors and in case we need nursing care for Mother.” After consultation by phone with John and Hannah, Fran finalized the lease agreement that day, happy she could take this burden off her brother’s shoulders. 

John had always been the responsible one in the family, with Fran as the less than thoughtful younger sibling. She had rushed into marriage with Leonards, starry eyed at the prospect of being married at nineteen, flattered that this rich older man had chosen her, eagerly anticipating what his money could buy. But marriage wasn’t at all what she expected. Leonards spent most of his time with his business associates, and traveled much more than he was at home. It had been a lonely and mostly loveless marriage.

When no children came along, Fran decided she needed something to occupy her time and her mind. She took some college courses and found she had a flair for fashion and business. She went on to get a degree and created her own line of children’s clothing. Leonards agreed to fund her startup business just to keep her busy, never imagining she would make a success of it. The company was in the black after two years and the clothing was now sold in exclusive shops all over the country.

Hannah and John had been initially surprised at the way Fran had managed to turn her dissatisfaction with an unhappy marriage into something constructive. She had been very self-centred as a teenager and early in her marriage, and though they didn’t like to admit it even to themselves, they would have described her as flighty and shallow. They thought she would abandon college classes when they became difficult, but she had risen to the challenge. They were proud of the way she built her business, and told her so. 

And if any aspect of Fran’s disappointing marriage could be seen as positive, it was that it had caused her to reconsider her relationships with her mother and brother. They had become closer and John had actually found his sister to be a sympathetic and understanding listener when his marriage ended.

John and Fran moved into the leased house the day before Hannah’s operation, while Hannah was resting in the hospital and undergoing final tests. Then they both went to the hospital to see Hannah and stay with her while she waited for the surgery in the morning.

***

Hannah was groggy, and didn’t want to open her eyes, but she could hear John talking to her. What was he saying? Why doesn’t he just let me sleep?

“Mother. Mother. Can you hear me? Try to open your eyes.” John tried very hard to keep the anxiety from his voice. He knew the problems of operating in this area of the brain, the many vital functions governed there. Hannah had returned to her room from recovery, and the effects of the anesthesia should just about be worn off. Let’s know what we’re up against right away. “Mother, can you hear me?”

Hannah opened her eyes and tried to focus in the bright light. She saw four people around the bed, and immediately recognized John and Fran. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. She heard a little cry from Fran. She tried again. “John, Fran.”

Fran leaned down to kiss Hannah, and Hannah could feel her wet cheeks. John squeezed her hand and Hannah squeezed back.

This was just the beginning. Now they faced months of treatments.

Chapter 4. Growing Up Together.

Margaret got off the phone at last. Henry walked into her study and asked, “Who was that? You’re not doing another closing, are you? Remember your promise.”

“Don’t worry, I said no. I referred them to Slickson.” Margaret had had a series of clients, all purchasing their first home. But the last closing had prompted a complete moratorium on new clients. It had dragged on for four hours, an argument over a few old appliances. When everyone finally left the office, an hour after Henry and Margaret were supposed to have driven into the city for a play, Henry told Margaret there was no need for her to put herself through that kind of nonsense anymore. The money was not worth the aggravation it caused her. Just give it up. And she had, she had promised.

Margaret and Henry had married while both were teenagers and still at university. Both families agreed that it was a mistake, and if they had known their plans in advance, they would have tried to stop them. Maria took to her bed when she found out they were married. She cried and fussed over what other people would think, and was angry that Margaret had destroyed Maria’s long held dream for an extravagant wedding for her only daughter. Margaret tried to reason with Maria, telling her that Margaret had never cared about such a wedding, but Maria just turned away and cried. 

Margaret and Henry defied everyone’s predictions and remained married, happily, all these years later. They were well aware of how lucky they were. They married so young, and knew so many other young married couples who grew apart as they grew up. Margaret and Henry grew closer, and they remained best friends.

Margaret and Henry both finished university and then Henry continued classes in biophysics, music, and theology, having some full and some part time jobs in between his student periods. Henry just loved the academic life and wasn’t ready to leave it simply because he had his degree.

Henry’s father despaired of his ever “becoming something.“ Like Maria with Margaret, Henry’s father had planned Henry’s life when he was small, where he would go to school, what he would study, what kind of company he would work for. He saw Henry’s meeting Margaret as the beginning of the end of those plans. She wasn’t the ”right kind” of wife, one who would stay home with two or three children and support (or pressure) her husband as he climbed the corporate ladder. Henry didn’t want to climb any ladders. Margaret told him he should do whatever he wanted, and he did.

Margaret went to law school after working as a biochemist for several years. She thought it would be a great way to help people understand their rights and then help themselves. She did enjoy being back at school, but Margaret didn’t get the satisfaction from being a lawyer that she thought she would. She wound up practicing alone, as she hated the personal injury cases that were the bulk of work at most firms. Eventually she practiced just part time, and now that closings were out of the question, she handled matters only when friends or family needed help. 

Henry worked at home, writing computer programs for specialized testing and analysis. Consequently, he spent most days talking to absolutely no one except Margaret. He would walk into her study and start talking about ideas he had or science reports he read while he was formulating solutions to problems in his coding. It was one of his ways to work out problems, forcing himself to think it through so he could explain it logically to her. He knew that Margaret would ask questions about any part of his analysis that wasn’t clear, and that would force him to work on that part of his problem. Henry teased Margaret that she thought so logically, so straight line, that she should be the computer programmer in the family. They worked as a team.

Fortunately, Henry’s talents in the computer field were compensated well enough that Margaret didn’t have to contribute to the family finances. He had always simply wanted Margaret to be happy, so whatever she wanted to do was fine with him. When she stopped working almost completely and seemed happy taking care of him and volunteering, Henry was content.

Henry took a deep breath and told Margaret he needed another computer. She sighed. This was a never ending discussion. Henry always ”needed” a new computer.

”Henry, how many are up there now? Your last one is only a year old, the fastest and most powerful Mac made, how could you possibly need another one?”

“But my laptop isn’t new. It’s almost two years old and the new MacBook Pro is much faster than that old thing. And once I get a new one, you would get my old one. You’re always complaining how long everything takes to download with your computer, this would be much better for you. You could get rid of that iMac on your desk, the one with the bad cd drive, and have two laptops.” Henry flashed a triumphant smile, finishing what he considered a perfectly logical argument.

“But Henry, if I’m the one who needs a replacement computer, why buy one for yourself and give me the old one? Why don’t I get the new one?” Margaret countered. This was a reiteration of a discussion they had almost every month. Henry was addicted to his Macs, and excited every time Apple released a new product. Margaret usually just rolled her eyes and waited for it to pass. 

Henry sighed. Sometimes it might be easier to be married to someone who let me buy whatever I want, he thought. A “yes, dear, whatever you say, dear” kind of wife. They do exist, don’t they? Wouldn’t be as much fun, would probably be boring compared to life with Margaret, but I could have a new computer any time I said it was necessary, couldn’t I? 

Then he looked at Margaret again and smiled. “Is that the new top you bought the other day? I like that, it actually shows your body. Not like those big t-shirts you wear every day to the gym.” Henry moved closer and put his arms around Margaret and kissed her. “Hmm, you taste good. What did you say you were doing this afternoon?”

Margaret smiled and said, “Are you asking to be pencilled into my schedule, sir?”

For reasons she couldn’t explain, but that both she and Henry welcomed, Margaret had found herself turning to Henry for sex much more often in the last two months than they had grown used to in the past few years. They had both expected their sex life, which had always been good, to slow down as they grew into their 50’s, and it definitely had. Well, that was normal, right? Bodies didn’t work as efficiently as they did when you were younger, hormones changed, you weren’t so interested in sex, right? thought Margaret.

But for the past two months, Margaret couldn’t quite get enough of Henry, in the morning, in the evening, occasionally in the middle of the night, and of course, in the shower - one of their favorite times of the day. They had always shared showers since they were first married, but recently the water bills had increased. 

Not surprisingly, Henry was delighted with Margaret’s rekindled interest. She realized that she felt much better physically and mentally since she started the daily gym routine. She fancied that she looked better too, firmer in the right places and a bit smaller in the right places as well. All of this contributed to nightly activity in bed, lots of kissing and fondling as they met around the house during the day, and a perpetual grin on Henry’s face. 

Margaret had also managed to convince Henry that he should do his part by bicycling every day rather than the occasional ride. He was well over six feet tall, but had never been athletic, even as a child, so was not muscular at all in the upper body. Perfect breeding ground for extra pounds, Margaret thought, so she agreed when he decided he needed the expensive bike, the bike shoes, the bike shorts, the bike shirt, the bike bag, etc. He didn’t do anything by halves. Once the weather warmed up, he had started going out for ten or twelve miles almost every day. Now they both had more stamina for each other.

Chapter 5. Keeping in Touch/in Shape

It had been four weeks since Hannah’s operation. They had settled into a routine for her treatments, which were scheduled at a local hospital. Dr Aboudy and Adam had assured John and Hannah that Dr Colthurst had been a part of the Sloan Kettering staff for several years before moving to head the oncology department in Milton Hospital. The radiation treatments could be taken at Milton, just fifteen minutes from Crampton. Dr Colthurst consulted regularly with Dr Aboudy’s team as to the parameters for the treatments and John knew he could take questions to Dr Aboudy at any time.

Hannah’s treatments were once a week, and she was extremely tired for three or four days after each treatment. John and Fran didn’t have to urge her to rest, she had little energy for anything, certainly nothing outside of their home. So, they decided to bring the outside world to her. She had never used a computer, saying she didn’t have time for such nonsense. But John knew that with the right setup, Hannah would be able to get photos and news from her friends back home, and stay in touch with her grandchildren. He was certain she would come around if it were presented the right way.

So, John decided to go shopping. He wanted a new laptop himself to keep up with the latest at St. Joseph’s and with his partners in the practice. Phoning every couple of days was not working. He had toyed with the idea of buying a Mac for several years. He had discussed it with Ann, but she objected. None of her friends or his colleagues had a Mac and it was more expensive. Why get something that made communication with the rest of the world more difficult, she argued? So John had settled for a Dell, and had never been happy with it. This time he would get what he wanted.

It was a rainy morning when John drove to the Apple store just five miles away. There were six laptops to look at. Where to start? John walked over to the closest display, which had the smallest laptop, and started using the mouse to check out the software on the computer. “Screen’s too small,” he murmured to himself.

The tall grey haired man standing next to him laughed and said, “Yes, that one is really more of an intro model for people who don’t want to spring for the bigger one. I have the larger one here, and the 17” screen size makes a big difference. Of course, it depends what you want to use it for. I use one for work, my wife uses hers for news, science, entertainment, everything really.”

“What do you recommend? I have a Dell right now, which I can’t stand using, and I’ve decided to take the plunge and go over to Mac.”

“Well, what are you going to do with it? Is it just for you, shared with your family, are you going to do a lot of image manipulation, photos, dvds, movies, big downloads? All of that makes a difference as to what you get, speed of the processor, how much RAM you need, size of the hard drive, etc.,” said Henry.

“Oh,” John looked uncertain. “I hadn’t really thought it out that far. I’m living here in Crampton for a few months with my mother and sister.” John wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw an eyebrow raise slightly. “I want my mother to be able to keep in touch with her grandchildren who are overseas and her friends back home. She can’t get out right now, so I want to bring things to her.”

“Well, I live in Crampton too. If you want, I can show you my setup at home. I’ve got three desktop computers, plus my laptop, and my wife has one of each, so I’m sure you will get an idea of what might be suitable, and we could explore all the configurations online. Of course, everything at home is wireless too, which makes things easier. You’d definitely want an airport base station. Oh, my name is Henry, Henry Lennox.”

“Glad to meet you, Henry. My name is John, John Thornton. If you’re serious, I’d really like to take you up on your offer. I don’t know what I need, even once I decide on which computer, so if you could help me out with that, I’d appreciate it. When could we do it?”

“Why not right now? I was getting ready to leave anyway. Margaret isn’t home, so I’m on my own today. Do you want to follow me in your car, or do you have to go home first?”

John wasn’t sure if Henry was implying something about having to check in with his mother, but he decided to ignore it. “No, no, I’ll just call home to check in when we get to your house. My mother isn’t well, so I like to let them know where I am.”

Four hours later John and Henry walked into John’s house carrying boxes. There were two new 17” laptops, an airport extreme base station, a UPS, a small color printer and miscellaneous accessories. Henry helped John set up his security and wireless systems, his email accounts, register all the products, set his preferences. John couldn’t believe how quickly both computers were up and running. 

“Henry,” John said, “I can’t thank you enough. This is just brilliant. How can I repay you for your expertise?”

Henry laughed. “I’ve already been paid. I got to buy two new computers and everything to go with them and it didn’t cost me a penny. I had a great time, no thanks necessary.

Henry and John had talked a lot in the past four hours, and found they had a lot in common. Henry wasn’t in the medical field but John found out very quickly that Henry was very smart and was interested in physics, mathematics, science, religion, philosophy, well, John wasn’t sure yet what Henry wasn’t interested in, other than sports.

Hannah had been resting when they arrived and John didn’t want to disturb her. Once everything was set up, he immediately sent emails to Max and Beth and two of Hannah’s friends back home, asking them to respond to the email account he had set up for Hannah, and send any recent photos they had. He would surprise her with that after dinner.

When John showed Hannah the computer he had set up for her, she chided him for spending so much money on a second computer for her. 

“John, you are spending a fortune already on living here and taking care of me. I don’t want a computer and have no idea how to use it. What do you think I’m going to do, sit here and play computer games all day? Take it back!” she huffed. 

Then John showed her she had two emails already waiting in her account and how to open them. He left her reading a long, chatty email from Beth about her latest boyfriend and how much fun she had had the past weekend in Kent. Hannah was amazed at the pictures Beth had attached, and felt tears in her eyes as she saw exactly how lovely her granddaughter looked just four days earlier.

When Fran came in twenty minutes later, she found her mother checking out the New York Times website for an article Max had emailed her about, relating to the cattle industry in Australia. Fran laughed out loud, and Hannah chuckled. “Well, I have to admit, I loved seeing the pictures of the children and knowing what they are doing right now, today. I guess I have to keep up with the times if I’m going to be with you another ten years, don’t I?” Fran hugged her and they looked at Beth’s pictures together.

John set aside the entire morning the next day to check out the local gyms. He had stopped his regular exercise routine when he and Ann had separated, and had never gotten back into it. He felt a thickening in his middle that was very annoying. He was over six feet tall and had always been slender, but middle age combined with a lack of exercise was adding unwanted pounds to his frame. He needed to take action before it got worse.

John rejected the first two gyms out of hand. The first one was brand new, with television monitors attached to every piece of equipment. He wasn’t interested in tv at home, why would he want it in his face while he exercised? The second gym was overrun with very toned and tanned men and women in their twenties and thirties, all looking as if they spent their entire day improving their bodies in one way or another. It was all competition, all the time; John just rolled his eyes and walked out. He just wanted to lose a bit of weight and tone up, not show off to everyone around.

The third gym looked right. It had all of the equipment he was used to, just two small televisions on the walls, and in fact, except for the high school and college boys who were just out of school for the summer, most of the men looked a few years older than he was. No competition, just exercise. He decided to join that morning and sat in the glass walled office at the corner of the largest exercise room, filling out forms and paying for his membership. 

As he waited for the assistant to complete the details, he was checking out some of the members. His eyes kept straying back to look at a particular woman who had just entered and gone straight to one of the treadmills.

She isn’t beautiful, or pretty in a conventional sense, he thought, but there is definitely something about her. He noticed that she spoke to no one, nor did she watch tv. She simply looked straight ahead as she walked. She was listening to an iPod, one of the tiny ones, what was it, a Shuffle. Every once in a while she would smile; she must be hearing something she especially likes, he thought. John guessed she was about his age, she was slender, and wore a very large t-shirt with some mathematics joke on it. 

Hmm, very attractive. No wedding ring. Women don’t take off their wedding rings when they exercise, do they? Better check that with Fran.

After the paperwork was done, John decided he would have a light workout before leaving. He had noticed the woman would simply glance over quickly as a member walked into the room, then immediately look back to a spot on the wall in front of her as she walked. John was looking at her as he walked in to the room, and he saw her look at him, and then he was certain she looked at him again, from head to toe. Joining this gym is looking like a very good idea, John thought.

Margaret was going through her regular routine at the gym that morning, first walking on the treadmill before using the weight machines. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone walk into the room and turned to glance at him. She looked back at the wall, then took another look. She had never seen him before. He was tall, slender, in black from head to toe - black trainers, black track pants, fitted black t-shirt and black hair with just a touch of grey. Well, that is one good looking guy.

Chapter 6. Getting to Know You

“Henry, I’m off to the gym. What time did you say you need to get to the airport?“ Margaret was trying to organize her day, and Henry had somehow forgotten to tell her he needed to be in San Francisco tomorrow morning. She was taken quite by surprise, as she had always made all of his travel plans for him, and this time he had gotten his own tickets and hotel.

”I’ve decided to take the airport limo, otherwise you will be stuck in commuter traffic on the turnpike and you can’t abide that,” said Henry.

“Henry, you know I don’t mind. We would have time to talk in the car, and you could tell me what the trip is all about,” she protested.

“No, I’ve already made the arrangements. I’m being picked up after lunch, so don’t give it another thought.” Henry gave Margaret a quick kiss and walked back into his office. “Have a good workout.”

Margaret drove to the gym, thinking about a corps meeting she had to organize for that night. Henry was right, she had several things to do to prepare and it wouldn’t do to spend hours stuck in traffic. Still, something was odd … 

She turned her mind to the gym as she walked in. That new member had been coming to the gym for a week. A few days earlier he had walked up to her while she was on the treadmill and smiled and said “Hi.” Margaret was surprised, but nodded to him. Now he was doing it each morning. She frowned briefly as she realized that he stared at her while she was using the weight machines. Those deep blue eyes were a bit disconcerting.

John walked into the exercise room and saw that the treadmill next to the one she was on was empty. He quickly grabbed a magazine from the pile on the table and started the machine up, adjusting the settings while watching her out of the corner of his eye. He walked for a few minutes and then looked down at the page opened before him. He flushed, and quickly looked at the cover of the magazine. John had accidentally grabbed Gym Guys and had opened to an article about how to accentuate the right muscles to look good in certain kinds of leather gear.

Margaret had seen the magazine article he was looking at and sighed. Why do the best looking men turn out to be gay? Oh well, good for some lucky man, I guess. No one that good looking is without a partner, are they? Margaret finished on the treadmill and started working her way around the room, using weight machines.

Margaret did ten repetitions on the shoulder incline press and closed her eyes, regulating her breathing before starting another set. She opened her eyes and was startled to see him standing right in front of her. He started to say something, so she took the earbuds out.

“I’m sorry if I startled you,” John said. “I was watching you using the machine, …”

“Yes, I did notice you staring.”

John flushed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just that I thought I might be able to help you. You aren’t getting the full benefit of the machine, the way you are using it.”

“Really? Are you a personal trainer?” Margaret asked, amused at his approach. “Trolling for clients?”

He grinned, and Margaret saw how it transformed his face. Looked very good before he smiled, now … .

“No, actually, I’m a doctor, an orthopedist. I specialize in sports medicine in my practice. My name is John, John Thornton.”

“Well, Dr Thornton, does the AMA know you are giving free advice? I think that kind of activity can get you booted out of that particular organization,” Margaret said with a small smile.

John laughed, but he also realized she hadn’t told him her name. “Well, I stay under the radar on that, the free advice goes to a very select few.” He stepped a bit closer and touched Margaret’s arm. John thought he saw a small look of surprise as his hand touched her, but she didn’t move her arm away. “Please. Let me sit here? This particular machine is designed to strengthen the shoulder muscles, and you are not letting the weights return far enough to starting position between repetitions.”

John took Margaret’s place and demonstrated the ‘correct’ way to use the machine. “Why don’t you try it that way? It will build those muscles better.”

“Dr Thornton,…” Margaret started, just a little bit annoyed that he thought it necessary to explain that a shoulder incline press was designed to strengthen shoulder muscles. Does he think I’m an idiot?

“John, please. And your name is …?”

“Margaret. I appreciate the advice, really, but I can’t do that. I know the best way to use the machine, it’s explained right on it, and I can read, but … Well, I had a frozen shoulder, and while it resolved and I have full range of motion, I can’t move the weights beyond a certain point without pain. And believe it or not, I don’t come here for pain.”

“Ah, I see. Sorry. I just …, well, … ,” John hesitated. Margaret had held out her hand to him, and was saying goodbye.

“Sorry, Dr … uh, John, but I have an appointment and have to leave. It was nice meeting you, I’m sure I’ll see you again.” They shook hands and John glumly watched her leave. Nice going, John. You came off as a patronizing git.

Henry called Margaret that evening and told her about a new Thai restaurant he had found just a few blocks from Union Square. Their conversation was short, as Henry said he was tired from traveling and meetings, but he told Margaret he would be home in three days.

Several days later John stepped on to the treadmill next to Margaret and just nodded hello. He had managed to spend a few minutes each day talking to her, and felt she was finally getting a bit more comfortable with him. They walked without talking for several minutes, when John saw a big smile on Margaret’s face. She walked with a slightly different rhythm for a few minutes. Is she singing under her breath?

“Was that a song you particularly like?” John asked.

“Tainted Love by Soft Cell.” She saw John’s blank look and said, “I had never heard of it either until I found a brilliant video online, using the song with clips from the BBC television series Robin Hood. Now I listen to the song every day.”

“Do you like that show then?” asked John, wondering if he should check it out on the cable.

“Oh, I’ve never seen it. Don’t have cable, don’t really watch tv.”

“Are you a Luddite, Margaret?” John smiled at her. 

She gave a faint smile and didn’t answer. Margaret was thinking about the phone call she had gotten from Henry the night before. He had delayed his return from San Francisco, saying that his business wasn’t finished. Margaret was worried. Henry had never stayed away for so long. He really didn’t like to travel for business, and liked it even less when Margaret wasn’t with him. She would have to talk to him tonight and find out why he was delayed again.

 

Note: Credit where due, to the brilliant Yorkshirewench and her wonderful Robin Hood video set to “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell.

Chapter 7. Unexpected Illness

It was duty day, and Henry was still in San Francisco. It was too early to expect a call. Margaret was upset that they had argued on the phone the night before. Henry had again delayed his return, and Margaret had accused him of being evasive about the business he was conducting. Henry had yelled and hung up. Well, I’ll have to put this out of my mind for now, I can’t be worrying about that when I have to tend patients.

Margaret wouldn’t be able to go to the gym, too far away to respond, so she spent half an hour walking on the treadmill that was in the ambulance corps building. She didn’t particularly like it; the building was too warm and the treadmill speed wasn’t properly calibrated, but she had no choice. She put away some new CPR supplies and checked the rig to make sure it was properly stocked.

She responded to a call for a diabetic emergency in the early morning. The second call was for a child who had fallen and broken his arm. Very quick transport, no tears shed by the child but the mother cried a river. Their third call was for a landscape company worker with chest pains. He spoke no English, and Margaret got as much information about him as she could with her rusty Spanish.

Margaret was just thinking what to have for lunch when her pager went off again. The call was at a house just three blocks from where they lived, for an older woman feeling ill. Margaret wasn’t the designated rig driver today, so she decided to go directly to the scene with the responder truck. She pulled up, got out of her truck and went to the back to get her jump bag. Then she walked up the sidewalk to the front door.

John was quite worried about Hannah. She had her regular treatment two days earlier, but she wasn’t feeling right. She was normally very tired, but today she was febrile, nauseated and diaphoretic. She had vomited more than once this morning, also very unusual. The radiation treatments had never caused this before. He called Dr Colthurst and Dr Aboudy and they agreed that Hannah should go to the emergency room at Milton Hospital. Hannah was so weak she wasn’t able to stand or walk without help, or even sit up, so John called 911 for an ambulance.

He looked out the window and saw an emergency vehicle in front of the house just two minutes later. That was quick. He told his mother that someone had already arrived and he would show them in. John walked to the front door and opened it. It was Margaret!

“Oh, Dr. Thornton! Um, where is the patient?” Margaret asked. 

“Margaret, why are you here? I, ...,” John stammered.

“I’m here because you called 911. Where is the patient?” Margaret asked again. When she was on a call, Margaret didn’t have time to chat with someone she knew until after she had seen the patient and knew what the problem was. “Point me in the right direction, unless you called for yourself.” Did the dispatcher get the sex of the patient wrong?

Just then a police officer walked in carrying another bag and John heard a siren in the background. Margaret greeted the officer and John, recovering himself, turned to show them where Hannah’s room was. He followed them in and watched as Margaret knelt next to the bed to talk to Hannah.

As Margaret had walked into the room, she saw an older woman lying in bed. Probably his mother. She appeared to be breathing shallowly, and looked extremely pale. She was wearing a scarf on her head, which didn’t completely cover a surgical scar. There was a basin next to her on the bed, and it had been cleaned recently. The woman opened her eyes as she heard them come in, and said something very softly. Okay, we have an airway, a pulse, she’s conscious, but she certainly looks sick.

“Hi, my name is Margaret. Why did you call for the ambulance this afternoon?”

John started to answer for his mother and Margaret listened as she took out her blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. She quickly put a pulse oximeter on Hannah’s finger, telling Hannah what it was and why she put it on. She heard John give the history of surgery, treatment, medications, and then he described the problems Hannah had today. 

“Mrs Thornton,” Margaret said, “you can just nod yes or no to my questions. I don’t want you to tire yourself out more than you already are. Are you normally able to walk? Good. Are you able to walk today? No. Okay, are you able to sit up on your own today? No. Okay, fine, I just needed to know so we can decide how to move you. No, no, don’t worry about me, I look small but I’m strong, and I have a couple of burly guys coming in the ambulance; we’ll be able to manage very well.” Hannah smiled weakly and apologized for causing so much trouble. “Absolutely no need to apologize, Mrs Thornton. That’s why we are here - to help when you can’t help yourself.”

Margaret turned to Dr Thornton and asked which hospital the family wanted to go to. John said they wanted to go to Milton. It wasn’t the closest hospital and he hoped they would take his mother there anyway. Margaret assured him they would go to the hospital where Mrs Thornton was being treated. Just then Fran hurried into the room. She had been shopping for groceries when John called her home. The doctor’s wife? Perhaps not gay after all, thought Margaret.

The ambulance backed into the driveway four minutes later and Margaret waited for Nick to come in to get directions as to what she wanted to do. John was surprised to see the man who walked in put his arm around Margaret’s shoulders, talking so closely and quietly to her that he couldn’t hear anything being said. Very good friends, or more?

Hannah’s vital signs were good, but Margaret was concerned about some of her symptoms. Heart attacks in older women did not present at all the same as those in men, so she didn’t cancel the paramedics. She told the patient and Dr Thornton that she wanted an EKG before they left for the hospital.

Margaret, Nick and Joe, the other EMT on the call, along with one of the police officers, moved Hannah from the bed onto the cot as gently as they could, and they had gotten her into the rig by the time the paramedics pulled up outside.

The transportation to Milton Hospital took fifteen minutes at that time of day. The paramedics had not detected any cardiac problems, but rode with them in order to put in a line for medication which would be needed at the hospital. They called ahead and a room was ready for Hannah when they got there. As Margaret was leaving, she saw Fran coming in from the visitor’s parking lot and she told her which room Hannah was in. Fran thanked Margaret and then John walked in. Margaret nodded to him and left.

John and Fran waited for a report from the emergency room doctors. Dr Colthurst walked over to them about fifteen minutes after they sat down, and shook hands with John. “I’ve seen your mother and everything points to this being a virus she picked up, perhaps in the clinic on Monday. We’ll do the tests to rule out anything else of course, but if it’s what I suspect, she should be feeling better by tomorrow. We will keep her overnight for observation.” He paused, waiting for any questions from John or Fran. “You’ll be able to see your mother as soon as the nurses are finished. I’ll talk to you later, and you have my office number if there are any questions.” John thanked Dr Colthurst for coming down so quickly to see Hannah, and then he and Fran waited to talk to her.

John and Fran drove home once they knew that Hannah was resting comfortably and would probably be home the next day. Fran telephoned an order for panini from their local café, and they picked them up on the way home. Sitting at the kitchen table, Fran was watching John while he ate.

“Okay, what is it? You’ve been staring at me without saying anything for the past five minutes. Is it something about mother, about her treatment? You knew her system was weakened by the surgery and treatments, we can’t wrap her in cotton wool, much as we’d like.” John stopped, waiting for whatever Fran had on her mind.

“So who is the woman?”

“What woman? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Chapter 8. Closer 

“What woman? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” John said nonchalantly, but he didn’t look at Fran when he spoke.

“You know that woman who was on the ambulance, I know you do. So, who is she, where did you meet her, tell your little sister all the juicy details.”

“There are no juicy details. I don’t know her really, she’s just a member of the gym I joined a couple of weeks ago. We say hello to each other, that’s all.”

“Unh-uh. There’s more to it than that, I saw the way you were looking at her once you knew mother was all right. Are you interested? Do we have dating possibilities here?” Fran poked John playfully. “Come on, tell me.”

John laughed. “I don’t know. I am interested but it hasn’t been easy getting to know her. She listens to her iPod while she works out, which doesn’t exactly invite conversation. I have talked to her a few times, but ...” He paused, remembering something about her. “She doesn’t wear a wedding ring. Do women take their wedding rings off when they go to the gym?” He looked at Fran, hoping for a ‘no’.

“No, John, I know of no women who remove their wedding rings for any reason - well, maybe some really disgusting cleaning job, but that’s what rubber gloves are for, right? Certainly not to go exercise. So, is that it? No interludes by the water cooler, no brushing against each other on adjoining treadmills?” Fran ducked away as John pretended to smack her. “She’s nice and slender, bet she looks good in gym outfits.”

“Well, she doesn’t wear that coordinated stuff. Just a pair of track pants and a different black t-shirt every day.” John’s face brightened. “Hey. Why didn’t I realize it before? A lot of her t-shirts have Mac stuff on them. I could talk to her about my new computer.”

“Gee, excitement reigns.” Fran pretended to nod off at the table. John poked her and went to take a shower, thinking of the approach he would take next time he saw Margaret. He stopped to check his email before he stripped and saw a message from an address he recognized. 

Henry! He had asked Henry to give him the name of the bike shop he used. John had biked many years earlier and he thought he would like to get back into it. It was a plus that Henry rode a few times a week and could show him some good routes.

John,   
Just a quick message. Princetown Bike Shop, Weaver Lane. I recommend the track bike, not the hybrid. The hybrids don’t do as well on hills. I’m in San Francisco this week, but I’ll call you when I get home, maybe we can get out for a ride.  
Henry

Two days later, Hannah was resettled at home and feeling much better. Dr Colthurst said there was no good reason to interrupt her treatments, she should just get lots of rest in the next three or four days. John was getting ready for the gym for the first time in three days. Should today be the day he asked Margaret out? Too soon? Well, at least he could talk to her about helping his mother.

Margaret saw him approaching her, looking determined to talk. She took the iPod earbuds out, even though she could hear with them in, knowing he would think it rude if she left them in. 

“John, good morning. I hope your mother is feeling better.”

“Yes, she is, it was just a virus, although it made her miserable. I wanted to thank you for your help and your kindness. My mother remarked on how much she liked you and the way you treated her, as a complete person rather than a body with symptoms. She wanted to write a letter, but didn’t know your full name. Margaret …?

”Hale, Margaret Hale. I’m glad to hear that Mrs Thornton senior is better. A letter is certainly not necessary, we were all there because we wanted to help, and we really don’t expect or need anything in return. The deed is its own reward.” Margaret stepped off the treadmill and started walking towards the wall of weight machines.

John stood there, admiring her rear view and wondering what she meant by “Mrs Thornton senior”. Oh. Fran. Well, I’ll have to straighten that out. She keeps walking away from me. At this rate, I might have her in my arms in no more than two years. Come on, John, you’ll have to do better than this.

John caught up to Margaret and asked her to step into the free weights area with him, as he wanted to show her something. As they walked into the room, they saw a thin young man trying to attach weight plates to a lifting bar.

“Margaret, I was thinking about what you said about your shoulder exercise, and I thought I could show you some exercises with free weights that would work those shoulder muscles without causing any pain. I’ve devised several sets of exercises that both the pro football and baseball teams back home use, and I’d really like to show you some of them.” John smiled inwardly. Margaret was standing quite close to him and he could smell her skin and hair. Take it easy, take it easy, she hasn’t said yes yet.

“John, that’s so nice of you.” Margaret reached out and put her hand on John’s arm. “I try to do my share of moving and lifting when we’re on calls. Well, you saw Nick and Joe, pretty big guys, but I don’t want to be the weak link, and some days, one of them is off and it’s just two of us. So any help I can get to build some strength is appreciated.”

John barely heard what she was saying, he was concentrating on the warmth he felt from her hand. Her touch had been so light, he had to look down to make sure her hand was really on his arm. He looked up at her face and was surprised to see a look of alarm. Before he could ask what was the matter, Margaret put both hands against his chest and pushed him so hard he fell backwards, tripping over a weight bench and falling to the floor.

As John hit the floor, he heard the clang and thud of weight plates hitting the floor. He watched in horror as an empty weight bar swung at Margaret’s head, missing her by a hair’s breadth as she dropped to the floor. John helped her to her feet and could feel her shaking. He looked behind him and saw the young man who had mishandled the weights, his face white from the accident he nearly caused.

“Margaret, are you all right? Are you hurt? You look a bit wobbly, come on, sit down here.”

Margaret quickly sat down on one of the weight benches, assuring John she hadn’t been hurt. “My legs have gone to jelly, that’s all. Kind of like a really close call in the car. Oh.” Margaret had reached down to her leg and John saw blood on her hand as she drew it back up. He knelt on the floor and saw the laceration on her leg. She must have cut it against one of the weight stands. 

“Let me get the first aid kit. The gym must have one,“ said John.

“No, no, I have a jump bag in the car with bandages and tape. I can take care of it myself, I’m a qualified semi-professional, remember?“ Margaret smiled and stood to leave. John stood with her. ”John, you don’t have to leave now, stay and finish your workout. I’ll be fine.”

“Margaret, what would my mother, a very big fan of yours, say if she knew that I left you here, bleeding all over the carpet,” John grinned to make sure Margaret knew he was teasing her, “and didn’t offer my professional assistance? I may be just a bone doctor, but I do shifts in the emergency room once a month, so I do know how to bandage wounds. Please, I insist on helping. You’ve just saved me from a great whack on the head, you must let me help.”

Margaret and John walked out to the parking lot and Margaret retrieved her jump bag from the car. She opened it and John took it from her and looked inside. “Okay, sit down right here on the curb. Do you have any water to wash off the blood? Oh, your water bottle, that’ll work. Take off your trainer and sock.” John saw Margaret roll her eyes. “Yes, I am bossy, just do what I said.”

John finished bandaging Margaret’s leg, enjoying just being with her, but also enjoying the pleasure of being able to touch her. This won’t do at all, you’re only able to touch her because she hurt herself. Get a grip!

“Thank you very much, Doctor Thornton,” she smiled as he finished bandaging her leg. “I’m fine, really. I have to go.” Margaret pulled on her sock and trainer, put her jump bag back in the car, and then she hesitated.

“John,” she said, “I …, oh, never mind. Glad to hear your mother is better. See you.” With that, Margaret got in the car and left, John staring after her.

Chapter 9. Henry Comes Home

Henry finally came home that afternoon after nearly two weeks in San Francisco. He had refused Margaret’s offer to pick him up at the airport. 

The limo pulled into the drive in the late afternoon. Margaret greeted Henry at the door, searching his face for something to help explain his behaviour of the past two weeks. She saw nothing except his broad smile at seeing her. He dropped his bags right inside the door and swept her into his arms, kissing her deeply. 

“Oh, Margaret, I’ve missed you so much. How have you been?” Henry didn’t give her a chance to answer as he kissed her again, with an urgency that was equalled by Margaret’s. They had never been apart for so long, and both of them knew that afternoon tea would be delayed. Forty minutes later, Margaret was drying her hair as Henry made tea in the kitchen. He brought their tea upstairs to her study and sat down with her.

Margaret just waited. She had no intention of making small talk about what she’d been doing while Henry was away. She wanted explanations.

“What happened to your leg?” Henry asked. Margaret had left the bandage off after her shower, and the fresh laceration looked sore. 

“Just a small accident at the gym.” Margaret didn’t want this discussion to get sidetracked, so she offered nothing further.

Henry cleared his throat. “Margaret, I’ve …, uh, we’ve been offered a great opportunity. HCMO wants me to run their IT department. I would supervise a large IT staff in several locations, San Francisco, New York, London. It would triple our income, there are significant stock options, and the other benefits … ” Henry faltered as he saw the look on Margaret’s face.

“Margaret, we don’t have to leave Crampton if you don’t want to. I know you would be worried if you are too far from your mother. I would have to do quite a bit of travelling no matter where we live. But you’ve always loved San Francisco and …” Henry stopped. 

“Why didn’t I know anything about this until this minute? Why the secrecy, Henry?” Margaret asked.

Henry knew this would be a shock to Margaret and it would have been a disaster to try discussing it over the phone. But explaining how it had come about and why he had kept it a secret was going to be tricky.

“Margaret, remember that dinner with several HCMO people in New York a couple of years ago? I know, some of the people at that dinner were idiots.” Margaret gave him a look. “All right, most of them were idiots. Certainly turned us both off HCMO at the time, didn’t it?” Henry smiled ruefully. “They were interested in me then, but I didn’t want to make a change.”

“But I was approached again about two months ago. They’ve had two heads of IT in two years and both left after unsatisfactory tenures. They put out feelers as to my interest, I put out feelers as to how it would be working there. Once we’d both decided the other was serious, they wanted me in San Francisco to talk face to face so I could review their setup, and discuss what they had to offer to get me on board.

Henry paused, hoping Margaret would ask some questions, but she simply waited. “The package they are offering guarantees at a minimum as much income as I would earn in the next six years, whether I stay with them that long or not. We would have a secure future. The benefits are outstanding, I’ll get stock options, there will be travel, …” Henry stopped as he saw Margaret look sharply at him.

“Henry, you’ve never liked to travel on business. Why would you be looking forward to it now? And, …” Margaret hesitated, and a look came over her face that Henry hadn’t wanted to see. “Who recruited you?”

Henry had hoped she wouldn’t ask this, but he couldn’t lie. “Jane,” he replied softly. 

Margaret looked steadily at him. “And did you go out to California alone, or with your recruiter?”

Henry didn’t say anything, and Margaret knew the answer. She stood up and left the room. Henry sighed. A minute later he heard the garage door go up, then down. She was gone.

***

Margaret sat on the grass, leaning against a tree. This little park was secluded and the view of the lake from this rise was beautiful. It was always quiet, a good place to think. 

Margaret now knew why Henry had kept her in the dark about his trip. He knew exactly how she would feel when he told her Jane Slickson had contacted him. Margaret remembered the pain of two years ago. 

It was a couple of months after Richard died. Margaret had spent four weeks with Mary and the twins, helping with the probate process, organizing finances, helping Mary in any way she could. Henry had gone home after just three days, as he was working on deadline for one of his projects. They kept in touch with daily phone calls, but after the first week Henry seemed distracted when they spoke.

At the end of the fourth week, Margaret got an unexpected call from Nick one evening. “Margaret, you have to come home, now.”

“Nick, what’s the matter? Is Henry all right?” Margaret was surprised at the urgency in Nick’s voice.

“I’d rather not discuss this over the phone, but Henry needs you here. He’s not coping well with some attention he’s getting.”

Margaret was home two days later and went to talk to Nick. They had been best friends since the day Margaret had joined the ambulance corps, and could talk to each other about anything. Margaret could see Nick was pained by what he was telling her, but he felt she needed to hear it. 

They all knew Jane Slickson, Al Slickson’s daughter. Margaret and Al were colleagues, and she occasionally sent cases his way. His daughter worked for a head hunter in the IT field, and she often called Henry to tell him about openings. Henry and Jane had never socialized, it had been strictly business. Now Nick told her that Jane’s car had been at Margaret’s house three or four nights a week for the past three weeks. Three nights ago, Nick and Jo had gone to dinner at a nearby restaurant and seen Henry and Jane at a table, and Jane was “all over him” in Nick’s opinion. Henry looked flustered at her closeness, and seemed embarrassed that Nick and Jo saw them. Nick called Margaret that night.

Margaret sat down with Henry that night and asked him what he wanted to do. “Don’t worry, I won’t stay where I’m not wanted. If Jane is what you want, please, tell me now and I’ll leave, tonight.“

Henry was stunned that Margaret thought he could be in love with Jane. He knew Margaret would find out he’d had dinner with her, and probably how friendly she had appeared. But he hadn’t wanted or encouraged the attention. He had been so surprised by her sudden interest, and was completely flummoxed as to how to react to her, putting her arm in his, sitting close to him, touching him. Sure, it had been flattering that a younger woman seemed to find him attractive, but he didn’t take it seriously. Jane knew Henry was devoted to Margaret.

”Margaret, I love you, only you. Jane is a business friend, and that is all I want her to be. Please don’t even think about leaving me, I can’t live without you.“ Henry had tears in his eyes when he said that, and Margaret believed him. They presented a united front to their friends, and to Jane whenever they saw her. Their life together went on, without Jane. Or so Margaret thought.

I don’t believe this. This cannot be happening again. If he has nothing to hide, why not tell me outright what he planned? … We made love an hour ago, and … he’s involved with her again? … Okay, be fair Margaret. She was involved last time, he wasn’t. … Fair? Why do I have to be fair?… Last time doesn’t matter, he’s involved now, he’s been talking to her, meeting her, travelling with her! And all without telling me, because he knew exactly what I would think!

***

John had spent the last three hours at Milton Hospital. Hannah had just one radiation treatment remaining before starting her chemo. Each MRI since the operation, including the one taken today, had been clear, and they were all optimistic. As John drove his mother home, he had suddenly seen Margaret’s car right in front of him, turning into a lane he’d never noticed before. He drove home and settled Hannah, and then told Fran he needed to go out again for a little while. Then he drove back to where he had seen Margaret turn in, and saw the sign, almost covered by foliage, saying that Shaw Park was closed after sundown.

John found Margaret’s car still there, and he parked. He got out and headed up the path closest to the car park. As he walked over a slight crest in the path, he saw her to his left, sitting on the ground leaning against a tree. He smiled and walked over to her, calling her name. She looked up and he saw the tears on her cheeks.

“Margaret, what’s wrong?” She didn’t answer, just put her head down and cried. John went to sit next to her, and saw that her leg was bleeding again. “Give me your car keys.” Margaret didn’t respond, so John reached into her small bag and pulled the keys out and went back to the cars. He got her jump bag, returned to her and bandaged her leg. He worked in silence, and Margaret had stopped crying by the time he finished.

John sat down next to Margaret and tentatively put his arm around her shoulders. She looked at him, and then leaned her head against him. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I’m not usually like this.”

“Can you talk about it?” he asked quietly. 

“No.”

Chapter 10. Uneasy Truce/Discovery

John was disappointed and worried. Margaret was not at the gym the next morning. When they parted at the park, Margaret had thanked John for his kindness, but had not explained why she had been upset, and he didn’t want to upset her more by prying. When he got home from his workout, he found an email from Henry.

John,  
I’ve got a good route picked out for us, not many hills, as you haven’t been riding again for long. Why don’t I meet you at your house about 2:00 tomorrow? Let me know if that’s not a good time.  
Henry

John had purchased a bike and taken some short rides on his own, but he looked forward to having a riding partner. Henry always had interesting things to talk about and they hadn’t spoken since he had gone on a business trip more than two weeks ago.

“John, what do you think of having a few friends over, you know, a small party but not a party?” asked Fran as he walked into the kitchen. “Just something informal. I think Mother would enjoy some fresh company rather than just seeing the two of us all the time, and Dr Colthurst said she is in no danger from other people. We could invite your friend Henry and his wife, your Margaret,” she grinned at him, “and a couple of people I’ve met in town.”

“Why don’t you ask Mother what she thinks about it. If she likes the idea, I would want to wait until a couple of weeks after her chemo starts, just to see what kind of reaction she has. She may not be up to company once that starts, so ... “ John thought, Yes, I’d love to have Margaret here again, spend some time with her without her wandering off to a weight machine.

John was at the gym early the next day, and was relieved to see Margaret on the treadmill. He stepped onto the one next to her and started walking. ”Good morning, Margaret. How are you?”

“I’m fine John,” she said quietly. Then she smiled. “Do you remember what you promised me the other day? The exercises?”

John’s face lit up. “Yes, of course. I would love to show you some right now. Why don’t we go into the weights room? Where is that boy?” John said, looking around. “Not here, thank goodness.”

John picked up two small dumbbells and put them in Margaret’s hands. He then walked behind her and, standing very close, put his hands on her arms, instructing her how he wanted her to lift the weights straight above her shoulders. As he showed her three different exercises using the weights, he kept moving his hands over her hands, arms and shoulders, talking her through several repetitions of each, explaining exactly why she should move her arms the way he was showing her.

“No, not quite like that, you have to lift straight out, without flexing your wrists. Let me guide your arms. Okay, try it again.“ God, she smells good. Just the right height to rest her head against my chest. Well, some day, I hope.

Why did I never notice that deep voice before? Margaret felt a shiver go up her spine. He’s standing very close. It’s getting very warm in here. He has strong hands, long fingers, such a soft touch … What are you thinking? He’s married, you’re married, stop it.

“John, how is your mother, and your wife, do they like Crampton?” Margaret stepped away, realizing she needed to get a little distance between them to clear her mind. 

“My mother likes it here, although of course, she doesn’t really get out much right now. And, I’m not married Margaret. You’re talking about Fran, my sister, who came in the day you took Mother to the hospital.” John smiled, glad to clear up that misunderstanding.

His sister? Not married? So, are we back to maybe gay? No way, not the way he’s touching me, not the way those blue eyes are looking at me. Not the way I’m feeling either. I’d better stop this right now. I thought it was safe, harmless, but this could be dangerous … 

She put down the dumbbells and turned and smiled. “John, I just thought of something, and hope you’ll feel perfectly comfortable turning me down if you don’t want to do it. I was wondering if you would consider giving a short talk to the corps. I think it would be great if we had an orthopedist speaking on the best ways to do certain things in the field - stabilize a dislocated shoulder or a silver spoon fracture, when to use SAM splints. If it helped us provide better care for our patients, we would be grateful.”

When John didn’t answer right away, lost for the moment at being so close to Margaret for so long, Margaret said, “Well, I really didn’t know how busy you are most days. I understand completely that a lot of your time is taken up with your mother’s care, and …”

John interrupted her. “No, no, sorry, lost in thought. I wouldn’t mind doing that at all. When would you want me to come?”

“Oh, no, I just wanted to see first if you were willing. I’m not the training officer, thank goodness. I will talk to Dixon and if he likes the idea, I’ll call you with some dates. Is that all right? And, I think I had better stop with the exercises now, I have several things to do today, so I had better get going. Thanks for your help, John.” With that Margaret left the gym, completely unsettled at the way she was feeling about her new personal trainer.

***

John and Henry had bicycled about half the route that afternoon, and stopped to drink from their water bottles. Henry had explained that he was so uncoordinated that he would almost certainly fall over if he tried that while they were pedaling, so they stopped. It gave them time to talk. 

Since they first met, they had talked on a wide variety of subjects, including their marriages. John envied Henry his relationship with his wife. It sounded as if it were everything his had not been. Henry clearly admired and loved his wife, saying she was the best thing that ever happened to him. But something was different today, Henry seemed depressed, very unusual in John’s experience with him.

“Henry, has something happened? You seem worried, distracted. Didn’t your business trip go well?”

“Oh, no, actually that went very well, perhaps too well. I stayed away too long, and I’ve really upset my wife. Never a good thing to do.” Henry sighed. “I did something really stupid and I’ve got to figure out how to fix it. We have an uneasy truce at the moment.” Henry stopped talking, just staring into the middle distance, thinking briefly about Margaret. “How about you, how are things progressing with your gym friend?”

John had confided in Henry that he had finally met someone who interested him, and Henry listened as John talked about her and how he was actually looking forward to asking her on a date. Henry could tell that John was nervous, just by the way he kept touching his helmet. John liked to run his fingers through his hair as he talked about problems, and he kept reaching up even though his fingers couldn’t actually touch his hair.

Henry said, “Well, I say just do it, just ask her out. Be persistent. My wife was dating someone else when I first met her but that didn’t stop me once I saw her. I just asked and kept asking. She dated both of us for a while, but I was smart enough to ask her to marry me, and the other guy just wasn’t ready for that. You have to be bold. Just do it.” As an afterthought, Henry said, “Of course, I haven’t had to ask for a date for thirty years, so what do I know.”

“Well,“ John laughed, “I’m not quite ready for marriage. I did go on a few dates after the divorce. It was nerve wracking, I had the distinct impression that sex was expected at the end of every date and the performance had better be up to standards or else. I guess I’m a bit old fashioned in that respect. I want to get to know someone first, but everything seems to move so fast nowadays between men and women.”

“I don’t really know Margaret yet. I met her at the gym, and she just seemed different from the other women. She keeps to herself, it’s obvious she is interested in her workout rather than in the other members. And, she’s on the ambulance corps in Crampton. She came to the house one day when my mother took sick. She didn’t come in the ambulance, but drove over in some kind of responder vehicle, she was at the house so fast after I called, I couldn’t believe it. She must live very close by.”

Henry was just staring at John. “What gym did you say you joined?” he asked quietly.

“Milton Fitness Club.”

“And this woman’s name?”

“Margaret Hale.”

Henry frowned as he looked at John. “John, that’s my wife.”

John blanched. “No, no, uh, … that can’t be. No, Margaret isn’t married, she doesn’t wear a wedding ring, your … your name is Lennox.”

“Margaret has never worn a wedding ring. She has one, mind you, but she doesn’t wear it. And she doesn’t use my name.” Henry just watched John.

John was shaking his head back and forth. He looked up. “Henry, I’m, … I’m sorry. I had no idea. I … ”

“John, I think my wife is the most attractive woman I’ve ever met, so it’s no surprise to me that someone else would find her attractive. It would surprise her, though. She doesn’t think of herself that way at all. There’s nothing to apologize for,” Henry hesitated, and looked at John again, “as far as I know.”

John looked guiltily at Henry. “No. Uh, no, … um, … well, I did ask her for coffee one day, but she said she had an appointment.”

Henry smiled, but John saw no warmth in his eyes. “Then she probably did have an appointment. Margaret believes men and women can be close friends without it being anything more. I don’t know any men who actually think that way. Margaret is a bit naïve about such things. I’m sure she didn’t think your invitation meant anything.” Henry didn’t see the look on John’s face at this comment. 

Right, she’s a happily married woman, why would she give a second thought to my invitation to coffee? John thought. How ridiculous is this? The only friend I’ve made here is married to the only woman I’m interested in. … So, you’re the reason she was crying. Wonder what that really stupid thing you did was, and … can it be fixed?

Henry was lost in his own thoughts. Margaret and he had talked about his failure to tell her what he was doing. She told him she was disappointed their relationship had changed so much that he felt he couldn’t trust her. That hurt, we both know I’m the one who breached her trust, not the other way round. She nevertheless encouraged him to continue his talks with HCMO. That’s Margaret, always wanting me to do what I want in my work, even when I’ve been the total jerk. 

But Margaret made it clear that she would be his travelling companion if any more travel were required. It was now obvious from what Nick had told her and what Henry had admitted that Jane had more than friendship in mind. If he found Jane’s company necessary as more than a business friend, Margaret would leave him. I can’t let that happen. Jane is pretty, and young, and apparently willing, God knows why, but I need Margaret.

“John, don’t worry about this. It was a mistake, no harm done. I’m sure you and Margaret will become good friends. It’s just so odd that you never met her when you came over to the house. Come on, let’s finish this ride. No cardio exercise standing here, and I want to get home.”

Thanks for the reminder of who’s at home waiting for you, John thought miserably, as they set off again.

Chapter 11. Friends

Henry left John and cycled home, his thoughts jumbled. What an idiot I’ve been, fantasizing about a younger woman while another man has been getting close to Margaret. I haven’t actually done anything, Margaret must know that. But John, his look, the way he talked before he found out … . Margaret wouldn’t have … , she couldn’t, she loves me. Oh, God. Henry wheeled his bike into the garage and went into the house. “Margaret! Margaret!” No answer.

John walked into the gym two days later, and looked over at the treadmills. Margaret was walking there, listening to her iPod. She glanced briefly in John’s direction and when she saw him, she gave a small smile. He wondered what Henry had told her. He must have mentioned their conversation, and John’s stupidity.

“Good morning Margaret,” he said as he approached her. They walked without talking for several minutes and then Margaret stopped and turned to talk to John. He was alarmed to see fresh bruises around one of Margaret’s wrists, and on her arm. He was sure they were finger marks. Henry? Oh, God. Could something have happened because of me?

“Can we talk privately?” Margaret walked ahead of him into the weights room, and then turned to him. “John, I am so sorry for the misunderstanding. I didn’t … ” 

Margaret stopped, trying to think of the right way to explain herself. “I thought … well, that we were heading towards being friends. I had no idea, until you were helping me with the shoulder exercises, that perhaps there was something more … ” Margaret couldn’t look at him, feeling guilty and angry at the same time, for not telling him that she was married when she guessed what they were both feeling. I shouldn’t have to announce I’m married. I don’t want to be labelled belonging to anyone, even to Henry. But …. I certainly didn’t want to hurt John.

“Margaret, there is no need to apologize. I’m sorry if I caused you any discomfort, or it caused any problems between you and Henry.” He saw a shadow cross Margaret’s face when he mentioned Henry. “Margaret, your arm – what happened?”

Margaret coloured, looking away. He thinks Henry did this. “Just an accident.” Margaret looked back up at John. There was something in her eyes he couldn’t make out, but he knew she wasn’t going to talk about it.

“I hope we can be friends, Margaret, all of us.” John didn’t want to lose what he had with Margaret. It wasn’t what he wanted, but it was all he could have. He was determined not to make her uncomfortable with inappropriate attention.

“Have you spoken with your training officer about my talking to your members?”

Margaret seemed surprised at this abrupt turn in the conversation. “Oh, well, yes. We have a meeting tomorrow night. If you could give a short talk before our drill starts at 7:30, that would be great. I could meet you at 7:00 and show you our facilities and equipment and you could give your talk about 7:15. Would that work for you?”

“Yes, that’s fine. I’ll be there tomorrow night,” John said, and he turned and left, Margaret staring after him, lost in thought.

The next morning John walked into the kitchen to find Fran reading the paper. “Good morning, big brother. I spoke to Mother about having a party and she liked the idea. So, I need Henry’s phone number and Margaret’s too, once we decide on a date. By the way, did you ask her out yet?

John groaned. ”No, thank goodness. Fran, Margaret is married. To Henry, no less.”

“What?! When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh, John!”

“I found out three days ago when I was riding with Henry. I was talking about Margaret and he asked a couple of questions, then realized I was talking about his wife. I nearly fell over. He was very calm about it, but believe me, he was not happy. 

“Wait a minute. What is Henry’s name? It isn’t Hale, I’m sure of it.”

“Yes, well that would have been quite a clue if they both had the same last name, but they don’t. And, … ” John hesitated, but decided to say what he had been thinking about since that afternoon. “Henry told me something just happened between them to upset Margaret. He said he’d done something stupid and didn’t know if he could fix it. And yesterday … ” John stopped, deciding not to mention the bruises.

“What are you going to do now?” Fran asked, putting a comforting hand on his arrm.

“Do? What can I do? Nothing. I won’t go there, Fran. I’ve seen enough of that kind of thing with too many of the doctors at the hospital. I won’t do that. She’s married. Period.”

“But John,” said Fran, “if she’s unhappy … ”

“No.” John said harshly, then he sighed, and said again, softly, “No.”

“Did I hear you mention Margaret?” said Hannah as she came into the kitchen. “Margaret Hale?”

Fran and John both looked up, startled. They hadn’t heard Hannah coming down the hall. What had she heard?

Hannah walked into the kitchen. She had just had her last radiation treatment earlier this week and, while she felt tired, she also felt relieved that the second phase of her treatment was behind her. She and John had seen Dr Aboudy and Dr Colthurst to discuss which chemo regimen she would take. 

She had dreaded the thought of infusion treatment, and was relieved to hear her chemo would be in tablet form. However, she was shocked that the tablets would cost $4,000 a month. John told her medical insurance covered everything, so she had nothing to worry about. John felt a little guilty, but justified lying to Hannah about the coverage because he didn’t want her stress levels any higher than they already were, and he and Fran could manage the uncovered portion easily enough. Whatever Hannah needed, she would get. 

“Were you talking about Margaret Hale? You will have to invite her to the party, of course. I was just speaking to her this morning.”

Fran and John looked at Hannah in surprise. “Speaking to her?” asked Fran.

“Well, emailing. After I got out of the hospital with that virus, I wrote to Margaret. Don’t you remember John, I asked for her name and address? Well, I sent my email address to her in the note, and asked her to email me if she didn’t mind. I wanted to meet people here and that seemed a good start. She emailed me three days ago and we’ve become friends already. Oh, and her husband Henry, isn’t he your bike partner, John?”

Fran and John just stared at each other, speechless.

John met Margaret that night and she showed him around their building and equipment. John told her he would start with the traction splint, and if there was enough time, he would talk about SAM splints as well. Someone John recognized walked in. It was that big man who was on the ambulance the day his mother was taken to the hospital.

Margaret excused herself and walked over to Nick. John watched as he put his arm around her shoulder and leaned close to talk to her. He saw Margaret shaking her head, and repeating, “No. No.” Nick hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. Who is this guy, and why does he get to hold and kiss her?

Nick and Margaret walked over to John. “Nick, this is Dr John Thornton, orthopedist and part time personal trainer,” Margaret said with a grin. “John, this is Nick Higgins, free lance writer, EMT and best friend.” As they shook hands, Nick was thinking that John was watching Margaret very intently. Margaret had confided in Nick about their misunderstanding, and he knew that Henry had been very unhappy about it.

John spoke to the members for just ten minutes, and they had several questions. He walked outside with Margaret and asked her if she thought it went well. There had been a lot of laughter and comments, not the kind of audience response he was used to, as he generally spoke to other orthopedists. 

“John, it was fine. That’s just what this group is like, we’re always making jokes and smart aleck comments about everything, but they really liked the talk and paid attention. Just what we wanted. And there will be more questions when you come back, I promise. Thank you.” Neither of them moved to leave, but they didn’t talk anymore.

Nick came out and told Margaret Dixon needed to talk to her. When she left, John turned to Nick and hesitated, wondering if he should say what he wanted to.

“Nick, … “ John took a deep breath. “The bruises on Margaret’s arm … she said it was an accident. I was worried, maybe … someone hurt her.” John looked closely at Nick.

Nick considered John for a while, then said, “John, Margaret told me it was an accident. She doesn’t lie.” He thinks Henry hurt Margaret! He doesn’t know Henry, that would never happen. And he doesn’t know Margaret! But his feelings for her are certainly easy to see. Henry must be uncomfortable. Good, keep him away from Jane. “Margaret’s fine, John.”

Chapter 12. Moving On.

Henry told Margaret he was accepting the job with HCMO. He was sure the benefits outweighed the costs. The company would give him as much time as he felt necessary to wrap up his own business, and then he would be in San Francisco for an extended period before travelling to other sites regularly. Henry told Margaret it would be a couple of months at least before he would leave. What he didn’t tell her was that he had no intention of leaving as long as John Thornton remained in Crampton.

John continued to see Margaret almost every day at the gym, but neither of them felt at ease to talk so freely anymore. He and Henry continued to ride twice a week, but didn’t talk as much when they did. Everything was the same, but completely different.

John became a regular visitor at the corps drills, advising on equipment and stabilization techniques, and made several new friends among the members. He was invited to the regular informal get togethers members had at their homes, and found he especially liked Nick and his wife Jo. He enjoyed seeing Margaret so much more often, and although he was careful to never be alone with her or be too familiar, it wasn’t long before most of the corps members suspected how he felt about her.

Hannah had been on chemo for approximately two weeks and had been feeling fine, except for tiredness every afternoon. John was at the gym, and Fran thought it seemed strangely quiet when she got out of the shower. She called out. “Mother?” No answer. Fran dressed quickly and walked into the kitchen. She found Hannah on the floor, shaking. Fran called 911 and then sat on the floor to hold her mother while waiting for help.

Margaret was almost home when she saw the responding police car stop right outside Hannah’s house. Pete Stanton saw her car and waved her over, telling her it was a medical call. Margaret grabbed her bag and ran inside, to find Hannah lying on the floor and Fran ashen faced. Margaret quickly examined Hannah; she appeared post-ictal and didn’t seem to have any injuries from the fall from her chair. John arrived as Hannah was being lifted into the rig. 

“John, she’s all right. She had a seizure, from what Fran says, just about a minute observed. She fell to the floor, but I didn’t find any injuries from that. She’s still drowsy, not fully aware. They’re taking her to Milton, okay?”

“Margaret, please go with her,” John pleaded. “Please. I know you’re not on duty …” Margaret put her hand on his arm, seeing how distraught he was. “I should have been here ... ”

“John, of course I’ll go with her.” Margaret stepped closer and spoke softly. “John, this would have happened whether you were here or not. Hannah told me the doctors warned of the possibility of seizures. Fran called right away. Don’t blame yourself, please.”

***

“Margaret, I was worried. I expected you home more than an hour ago and you didn’t answer your mobile.” Henry met her at the door.

“Sorry, Pete pulled me over for a medical call when I was almost home and I left the phone in the car. It was Hannah Thornton, and I went in the rig with her to the hospital.” Margaret looked at Henry and could see in his eyes the question he wasn’t asking. “John got home just when we were leaving, but he didn’t come in the rig.” Margaret went to shower, distinctly annoyed. I thought we straightened this all out.

Henry had come in from his bicycle ride that day in a panic. Margaret had been working in the back bedroom and hadn’t realized he was looking for her until he ran upstairs calling to her. She came out to meet him. “Margaret, there you are. We have to talk, right now. What’s been going on between you and John Thornton?”

“Going on? What exactly do you mean by that?” Margaret said testily, annoyed with Henry’s tone. “I’m not a child, don’t talk to me like that.”

Henry grabbed Margaret’s arm as she turned away. “I’m sorry, but I’ve just found out … he’s very interested in you. He was getting ready to ask you out. Why didn’t you tell me you knew him, that he was hitting on you?”

“First, let go of my arm.” Margaret looked at Henry, eyes narrowed, and he flushed, releasing her arm. “Second, no one has been hitting on me, John’s my friend. And I will be friends with whom I please. Third, why is this bothering you? I’m married to you, Henry - married, committed - to you. Period.” She gave him a careful look, and added, “And I expect the same commitment in return, Henry.”

Henry grabbed Margaret and hugged her, sighing in relief. “Of course, Margaret, you know I love you.“ They kissed and Margaret turned to go downstairs. At that moment, Luke wobbled right under her feet and tripped her. She started to fall down the stairs, but Henry just managed to grab her wrist and arm, and they both fell back onto the landing. Luke walked right back over to them and cried in Margaret’s face for food. 

***

”Nick, you’ve got the perfect weather for this party. I should have brought my suit,” Margaret said as she watched the others sitting around the pool or swimming. Henry was chatting with Dixon about HCMO and John was across the patio, talking to Jo. Nick had realized some time ago that no matter where John was at any of the parties, or with whom, he always knew exactly where Margaret was. He didn’t stare, he didn’t stand near her, but he knew. He never said or did anything inappropriate and Nick admired him for that as well. More than I can say for Henry. Nick had seen Henry more than once in a dark corner with Jane. He hadn’t seen anything really wrong, but … 

Two or three couples were on the deck dancing, and Henry looked to see what Margaret was doing. Nick had just gone into the house, and Henry saw John standing alone for the moment. “Margaret, dance with me.” Henry took her hand and walked up to the deck and took her in his arms, looking at John as he did. Margaret closed her eyes as she snuggled into Henry’s arms, and then, his mobile rang.

“Yes? Oh, hi Richard,” Henry stepped back from Margaret, smiling apologetically and shaking his head at her. It was the CEO of HCMO, needing a few words right away. Henry went into the house to find a quiet place to talk. As Margaret stood there, swaying to the music with her eyes closed, she heard that lovely deep voice. “Margaret, may I take Henry’s place just for the rest of this dance?”

Margaret opened her eyes to see John standing in front of her, his arms out to her. He looked gorgeous tonight, wearing a deep blue shirt that matched his eyes. He was clean shaven, and she realized she missed that light stubble he usually had when she saw him at the gym in the early morning. She smiled, “That would be lovely, John,“ and stepped into his arms.

Okay, take it easy, she’s married, her husband is in the house and you’re just dancing. John kept a discreet distance between them, looking away from her. But he smiled at their closeness, inhaling her scent, feeling the warmth of her fingers in his hand and on his shoulder, the trimness of her waist. He saw Nick and Jo watching them, and smiled at that as well. She has good friends. Nick would be right on me if I did anything wrong. 

***

Over the course of the next two months, Hannah had seizures twice more, but her MRIs continued to come back clear, and no changes were made in her chemo. Her doctors were well satisfied with her progress, and assured them that the seizures would have no lasting effect, although they could not say how long they would last. It was time to go home.

The house looked bare now. All of the furniture remained, but the touches that made it a home were all packed away. Hannah was looking forward to going home. Her treatment would continue at St. Joseph’s for as long as needed, with consultations with Dr Aboudy and Dr Colthurst for each MRI. She and Fran were sitting in the kitchen, sharing their last breakfast in Crampton.

Hannah looked up. ”How long has John been in love with Margaret?”

Fran nearly choked on her coffee. “Mother, I don’t know what you’re talking about. John and Margaret are just friends.”

“Fran, I have eyes, I saw John at the party last weekend. I suspected some time ago, but it was confirmed Saturday night. How long, and … ?” Hannah was afraid to ask what she was thinking. She so wanted John to find love, happiness, but a married woman? Much as she liked Margaret, she could not believe John could do this. He wasn’t that kind of person. Nor was Margaret, she was sure of it.

Fran sighed. “Yes, John does love Margaret, but,” Fran, realizing what Hannah was unwilling to ask, said, “nothing has happened or will. Margaret is committed to her marriage, John knows that, he respects that, so they are just friends. He hasn’t talked to me about it since he found out she was married, so I don’t know any more.” They both sighed, and nothing more was said.

John and Margaret left the gym at the same time that morning. They both knew they would never see the other again, but there really was nothing to say. Henry was at home waiting, Fran and Hannah were waiting to go home. They waved goodbye and drove off.

Chapter 13. Henry’s Needs

Margaret saw her name on the sign and walked toward the man holding it. “Ms. Hale? I’m Michael. Oh, please, let me take your bag. Your car is just outside, please follow me.” Margaret followed Michael outside, feeling the wonderful coolness of a San Francisco afternoon in September. She settled back in the town car for the ride to Henry’s flat in the city.

Henry had been staying in San Francisco for the last six weeks. He had accepted HCMO’s offer four months earlier, and part of the package had been a luxury flat in the city, with HCMO paying all expenses for the first two years.

“Excuse me, Ms. Hale, but Mr. Lennox expressly asked me to give you this letter as soon as we were under way.” Michael handed Margaret a sealed envelope, and then moved into traffic.

Margaret,  
I am so happy you’re here at last. I have cleared my calendar for this afternoon, so hope to be back at the flat by 3:00. I can’t wait to see you. I’ve missed you desperately. I haven’t made any plans to go out or see anyone tonight, I want you all to myself. Love you.  
Henry

“Henry, I’ve missed you so.“ Margaret wrapped her arms around Henry, Ooh, Henry’s a little bigger than he was six weeks ago, she thought. He won’t be happy if I mention that. Henry kissed her over and over and walked her backwards right into the bedroom, his hands finding their favorite places as they kissed each other. After their shower, they lay back down on the bed, and Henry started his campaign, again.

“Margaret, you’ve got to move out here with me. I hate living alone, I’m not eating right, don’t think I didn’t notice your arms measuring me before.“ Margaret chuckled, caught again. “I need you to take care of me, I need you to come home to, I need you. Please, please, please.“

”Henry, what happened to the idea that you would be travelling so much that it wouldn’t really matter where we live? You’ve only been here six weeks, and I’m here now. I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner, but if I move here, then what? Next week, you said you’re back to New York, then London two weeks later, and I’ll be sitting here in San Francisco. We will work this out, maybe I’ll just have to do a lot more travelling, but I don’t think we should pull up stakes in Crampton just yet. It will be home whenever you have to be at the New York office, right?”

“Yes. But I want you with me, I don’t do well alone. Will you come to London with me? And then back here for three weeks?” Henry kissed her over and over when she said yes, and they enjoyed themselves in the bedroom for the rest of the evening.

Margaret stayed a week in San Francisco. They went to a party at the CEO’s home and she heard fulsome praise of her husband from everyone there. While Henry worked, Margaret took long walks, returning to some of her favorite spots in the city, sometimes just sitting in the sunshine in Union Square and reading the afternoon away. It is so nice to be back in San Francisco. Very tempting. Henry needs me with him, I know that. And, good grief, have I missed sex! Henry said he might get home early today, and I just bought that new black lingerie. Time to get back to the flat.

Three weeks later Henry and Margaret were in London. Henry was busy all day in meetings, and Margaret spent her days visiting museums she hadn’t seen in several years. This initial trip to London was primarily a “meet and greet” trip for Henry, so almost every evening they attended a different party with his colleagues. Margaret met some very boring people at some very boring parties. Just keep smiling, it helps Henry. These people drink too much. Must be the only thing that keeps them going at these do’s. Unfair, you’re just not into what is interesting to them. Keep smiling.

***

“Margaret, it’s good to have you back. How long are you here for?” Nick gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as she got in his car. 

“Thanks for picking me up, Nick. I could have taken a car service, but this way, I get all the latest gossip in Crampton. I will be here about two weeks, then a couple of weeks in San Francisco again. I’ll ride while I’m here, I can do extra shifts for people who covered me while I was away. London was fun, as usual, although Henry was very busy. I saw a couple of great plays, and the new exhibition at the Tate Modern, always good for a day. But I wanted to come home for a while. Henry isn’t happy, but it won’t be for long. How is Jo?”

“She’s fine. Everybody’s good.” They chatted about the corps, about the latest political idiocies, about their grandchildren. Nick did not mention that Jane Slickson had left Crampton more than a month ago, something his wife had told him just a few days earlier. Jo thought she had moved to San Francisco, but wasn’t positive. No sense telling Margaret something like that, might not be true, at least I hope it isn’t.

Margaret was back at the gym the next morning. She had done a lot of walking in San Francisco and London, so hadn’t put on any weight, but she felt the effort of the arm exercises more than she liked. She missed her routine. I’ll have to join a gym in San Francisco as soon as I get out there next time. This nomadic life takes quite a bit of getting used to.

She missed seeing John in the gym. She thought of him quite a bit when she was alone in Crampton. She thought of his talks at the corps, the exercises he showed her, his terrible jokes about orthopedists, his caring manner with Hannah, how it felt to dance with him - enough of that. I’m married, to Henry, I love Henry.

She put in four shifts each of the two weeks she was in Crampton, instead of the usual one per week. She had missed the excitement of responding to ambulance calls, the pleasure she got from helping, the camaraderie of her crew mates. She missed Crampton, her friends, being in her own home, eating her own cooking. Margaret sighed. Can I make this work? I have to. Henry is doing this for both of us, and he shouldn’t have to do it alone. He’s working hard, I have to work just as hard. If my being away from my home four weeks of every five is what he needs, then … Well, I’d better pack, again.

***

It was two weeks before Christmas and Margaret was at SFO again. Henry had agreed that they would spend Christmas in Crampton, but they wouldn’t return there until December 23. 

“Michael, it’s good to see you again. How have you been?” Margaret asked, as she handed Michael her bag.

“Oh, Ms. Hale, I’ve been fine. The traffic looked pretty bad on the way out, so it may take some time to get to the flat. Just sit back and relax.” Michael carried her bag up to the flat, and Margaret gave him two small wrapped packages. “Please give the red one to your wife and I hope you both have a wonderful holiday, Michael.” He flushed with pleasure that she’d bought a gift for his wife, and thanked her.

The flat was decked out for Christmas. Henry said HCMO had sent someone out to do it for him. He certainly didn’t have the time, or the inclination, but he thought Margaret would like it. She told him it was very thoughtful, not having the heart to say that decorating it herself would have given her something to do during the day while he was at work.

Henry came home late that evening, and for the first time, they did not spend their first hour together in the bedroom. Henry told Margaret he had been working long hours wrapping up a proposal for the London office and hadn’t been sleeping well without her there. They fell asleep lying in each other’s arms. Damn, where’s the sex? Margaret thought, as she drifted off to sleep. 

Margaret walked into the Apple store on Stockton Street. She wanted to buy Henry a new laptop for Christmas, but knew he would get so much more pleasure picking it out himself. So she decided to get him a gift certificate and they could go together to redeem it at the Apple store near Crampton. They were due to fly home in two days. Home. Was it still in Crampton? Henry didn’t seem to think so anymore. Margaret wasn’t sure, but she certainly missed her life there.

As she left the store, she glanced toward Market, and stopped in her tracks. It can’t be. No, it … is. Jane Slickson, getting into a taxi on Market Street. Margaret couldn’t get her breath. She just leaned against the building, her mind whirling. When did this happen, Henry must know she’s here, this can’t be a coincidence. Was he afraid to tell me? Why would he be, unless … I must be wrong, Henry can’t know she’s here, he couldn’t tell me something he didn’t know about. Don’t jump to conclusions, Margaret. Wait for an explanation. … Right, like he is going to tell you she’s here, if something is going on.

Margaret returned to the flat and considered what to do. Henry came here initially with Jane and she was working on behalf of HCMO. Is it possible she herself got a job with the company? She picked up the telephone and called the HCMO main switchboard. “HCMO. How may I direct your call?”

“Ms. Jane Slickson, please.” Margaret held her breath, and then heard a voice say, “Human Resources, Ms. Slickson’s office.” Margaret just quietly hung up. Well, that pretty much eliminates Henry not knowing she’s here. So he chose not to tell me. Because he knew I’d be upset? Or because they are together? Does it matter? Hiding it from me because he doesn’t trust me, or … This is getting me nowhere. Is there anything left to talk about?… Yes. No … ?

Margaret pondered her options for some time, and then left the flat for the five block walk to HCMO. She asked to see Jane Slickson and was shown to the fourteenth floor lobby. Jane came out to see her five minutes later, looking nervous. Margaret knew Henry was at a meeting in San Jose this afternoon and almost certainly wasn’t taking calls, so she felt confident that Jane had not been able to talk to him when she’d been told who was calling on her this afternoon.

“Jane, how are you? Been working at HCMO long?” Margaret sat back in her chair across the desk from Jane. She saw a woman twenty five years younger than herself, short blonde hair, decent figure, large breasts - Henry was always a breast man - definitely attractive.

Jane flushed, but returned Margaret’s gaze. “Margaret, I’ve been here about eight weeks. It was a wonderful opportunity. My other company was so small, no room for advancement.” She hesitated, not sure where the conversation was heading, and she hadn’t been able to reach Henry. 

What did Margaret know? Jane had fallen for Henry a long time ago, but hadn’t been able to convince him that she was serious about him … until two weeks ago. His loneliness had made him vulnerable and Jane had taken advantage of that. Now is my chance. He’s still in love with Margaret. That’s why he wouldn’t go to bed with me for so long. Margaret suspects something, otherwise she wouldn’t be here. If she knows about us, she will leave him, and I will be there to comfort him. Jane flashed Margaret a smile and started talking.

Margaret had been sitting on the sofa for an hour, wondering whether she really needed to talk to Henry about this, or if she should just go home. She called the airport, then called Michael and asked him to pick her up in half an hour. Margaret had packed two cases, making sure she took all of her personal belongings from the flat. She looked around as she was getting ready to leave. And to think, I was going to tell him Christmas day that I was moving here and putting the Crampton house on the market. Timing is everything, isn’t it? Margaret sighed, and closed the door to the flat behind her.

Chapter 14. Marriages

Six months later.

Margaret watched the twins showing off newly learned swim strokes, and marvelled at how much they had grown. They had thrown themselves at her when she arrived in Helstone two days earlier for the wedding. They knew she would be staying with them while their mother and Stephen were on their honeymoon trip.

When Margaret left San Francisco in December, she wasn’t sure if Henry would follow her. She wasn’t sure she cared. No, that wasn’t true, she cared, deeply, but she didn’t want to. He came home to Crampton late in the evening on December 23. He walked in the front door, looked tentatively at Margaret and went to take her in his arms. She gave him a quick hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

“Henry, I wasn’t sure you would come. I’m sleeping in the middle bedroom for now.” She hesitated, but Henry didn’t say anything right away, so she continued. “We were due at Nick and Jo’s tomorrow night, and I told them I wasn’t sure if you could get away. We can talk tomorrow about what your plans are. Well, … it’s late, I’ll see you in the morning. Good night.”

“Margaret, please, … ” Henry started, but Margaret just shook her head and went upstairs. 

“Tomorrow, Henry, please, let’s talk tomorrow. We’re both tired and we might say things we don’t really mean.”

The next morning, Margaret told Henry she was ready to listen to anything he had to say. Henry had tears in his eyes when he told Margaret he had made a stupid mistake, it had happened just once, and it would never happen again. He loved her, not Jane. Jane had pursued him, not the other way round. And then he said that if Margaret hadn’t stayed in Crampton while he was all alone in San Francisco, it would never have happened.

Henry realized his mistake almost before the words were out of his mouth. “Margaret, I didn’t really mean … ”

“So, it’s my fault? My absence forced you to turn elsewhere? Your marital commitment shattered because you were alone for what … three weeks? And to think, six months ago you nearly stroked out simply because another man told you he found me attractive.” Margaret just shook her head in disbelief. “You have been trying to make up your mind about screwing Jane for more than two years. You finally decided, and now we both have to live with your decision.“

She had made no decisions at all about what to do, hoping Henry had some explanation, any explanation for what had gone so wrong, but Henry’s blatant attempt to blame her for his bedding Jane … . I’ve been a fool, thinking that there might be some excuse, something I’d done wrong, some reason not to believe what Jane told me … No, I will not be blamed for this. There is no trust any more. There’s nothing left to salvage … is there?

“Henry, I’ve spoken to Peter Gorman about ... this. I hope we can settle this amicably.” Margaret paused and sighed. “Jane talked for quite a while, and she has quite the flair for detail. If you let Peter know who your lawyer is, he’ll send a transcript.”

“Transcript?” Henry said, confused.

“Well, you know me, Henry, you’ve always teased me about too much detail. I didn’t want to get any of it wrong, did I, so I took a digital recorder with me when I went to see Jane. And yes, Jane agreed to recording our conversation. Henry, she wanted to tell me, she was so eager for me to know about the two of you, I didn’t have to ask her a single question, she could barely wait to tell me everything. Some things she said, she couldn’t have known,” Margaret’s voice caught, “if you hadn’t … been together. So please, no ‘she’s lying, it never happened’ or even, ‘it happened just once’.“

”Margaret, please, it happened, but it meant nothing to me. I was just lonely and Jane, well, she’s been after me for years, you know that. It’s nothing, it’s over, I told her I love you and I won’t see her again. I am committed to you and our marriage. Come home with me, Margaret. Everything will be fine if you just come home with me.” Henry stepped closer and took Margaret in his arms and hugged her tightly.

“Henry, I love you too, more than I can say. But sleeping with Jane did mean something. What about the next time you get ‘lonely’, the next time someone is ‘after you’?”

“I can’t do that kind of marriage, that’s not the marriage I want, the marriage I thought we had. I am home Henry, and I’m staying home. So feel free to go back ‘home’, to Jane, I hope the two of you will be very happy.” Margaret stepped away and walked out quickly, heading for the gym, hoping Henry hadn’t seen the tears sliding down her cheeks. 

Mary and Stephen were married in the garden at Mary’s home. Henry arrived the day before, staying in a hotel in town. He and Margaret sat together and talked about the twins and Mary. Henry had emailed and called Margaret almost every day he was away, assuring her of his love for her. Encouraged that Margaret had not filed for divorce yet, he spent most of the ceremony and reception trying to convince Margaret that she should spend the next three weeks in San Francisco with him. She agreed to meet him in San Francisco after the honeymooners returned. I owe Henry another chance, don’t I? He’s lonely, I’m lonely, he couldn’t be seeing Jane anymore. Divorce … . We’ve both learned lessons from this. What would it hurt to see how a couple of weeks in San Francisco go?

***

Once Hannah had settled back in at home, Margaret had kept her up to date on happenings in Crampton by email. Margaret hesitated telling Hannah about the separation, she wasn’t sure why. She didn’t want anyone to know, really, but that was stupid. What difference does it make if Hannah knows? Well, because once Hannah knows, John will know. So? I haven’t heard one word from him in eight months, and we were just casual acquaintances anyway. What could I possibly be expecting there? Get over yourself, Margaret! He’s gotten on with his life. Get on with yours, and with your marriage. 

So Margaret emailed Hannah that she and Henry had separated, but asked that she keep the information to herself. It was obvious to Hannah that Margaret didn’t want John to know, but she wasn’t sure why. Perhaps they had quarreled? Perhaps John had something to do with the separation? No, no, that couldn’t be. Margaret must be trying hard to work things out with Henry now, and wants as few people to know about the trouble as possible, perfectly understandable.

Margaret told Hannah about Mary’s wedding in Helstone, and Hannah invited her to visit with the children, as Helstone was less than a hundred miles from Hannah’s home. Margaret begged off, listing the many activities she had planned for the children, and she didn’t want them tiring Hannah. She didn’t tell Hannah she wasn’t prepared to see John, but when Hannah wrote back that she was feeling better than ever and that John would be at a conference in Florida that whole week, Margaret agreed to the visit.

***

Fran, Hannah and Margaret were talking in Hannah’s living room three nights after Mary’s wedding. They talked about all of their mutual friends in Crampton, and Hannah had some exciting news of her own. Her granddaughter Beth had surprised the family by announcing she was to be married at the end of the summer. It was almost as much of a surprise to Beth as it was to the family, but she was head over heels with Niall, and two months pregnant, so the wedding would not be delayed. Hannah was determined to attend the wedding in Ireland. They all looked at pictures of the new bride and the bride-to-be and her fiance. 

Margaret sent the children upstairs to get ready for bed, and as she sat back down, they heard the front door open. There was a thud in the hallway, and then that voice. “Mother, whose car is in the driveway?” John walked into the living room, and stopped. “Margaret!”

Margaret flushed, not knowing what to say. She had almost forgotten how good looking he was, especially when he smiled, as he was doing right then. Wow.

John looked around quickly and said, “Where’s Henry?”

“Henry’s in San Francisco, John. I, uh … didn’t expect to see you. Um, I’d better check on the children.” Margaret walked past John and hurried up the stairs. He stood staring after her until she disappeared into a guest bedroom, then turned around to look at Fran and Hannah.

“What’s going on? You didn’t tell me Margaret was coming. What children?” John looked from one to the other, waiting.

“John, why are you back two days early? We weren’t expecting you until Friday,” Fran said.

“One hurricane and one tropical storm heading for landfall, I decided to get out while it was still easy. So? I haven’t heard any explanations yet, and you two are giving each other looks, like, ‘what shall we say?’ What’s going on, Mother?”

“John,” Hannah began, “Margaret was in Helstone for her daughter-in-law’s wedding and I asked her to visit, that’s all. She’s got the twins for the honeymoon, they’re getting ready for bed. And,” Hannah lowered her voice, “don’t fuss, Margaret’s a little upset. Henry … .” 

Just then, Margaret appeared at the top of the stairs with the twins, freshly bathed and ready to say goodnight. Once the children were in bed, they all sat again, and Hannah and Fran started talking about Beth’s wedding. 

John asked Margaret to walk in the garden with him, and they went outside. Margaret kept silent, not knowing what to say, and realizing she was trembling as he stood near her. Good grief, you are going to see Henry in four days, you need to work on your marriage. God, he looks good. Don’t stare. Stop it. Stop. It.

John was staring at Margaret, deliberately keeping a distance from her, hands in his pockets, lest he reach out and grab her, which is all he could think about. God, she looks wonderful. Henry’s probably too busy to be here. He’d better be careful, I lost Ann that way, always busy with work. I could give up my work for her. ... She looks very nervous, am I doing that to her? And Henry has upset her again? His specialty.

Hannah came out to the garden to tell Margaret that one of the children needed her. John sighed. Margaret went upstairs and he didn’t see her again until her bags were packed in the morning. Margaret loaded her car and they drove off, with just the children looking back.

Chapter 15. Painful Decisions.

Margaret sighed. She felt no triumph in ending her marriage; she felt sick, rejected, alone. She knew she had to do it, but that didn’t help, not at all. 

She had been so happy, going back to San Francisco after Mary’s wedding. She felt she and Henry had a good chance to put their problems behind them. She accepted some of the blame, she decided she hadn’t really been supportive enough when Henry went to HCMO. She knew he didn’t want to be alone, yet she had clung to her life in Crampton. Well, she would embrace the new life enthusiastically, for both their sakes.

That thought lasted exactly five days. Until the email from Jane. With the scan attached. 

Henry was furious that Jane had contacted Margaret. ”Margaret, she’s just being vindictive. She’s in trouble and she’s striking out. I’ve told her we’re through, and she just won’t accept it.”

”Henry.“ Margaret swallowed and took a deep breath. Stay calm. “This scan is just two days old. It is not a scan of a seven month fetus, is it? Four months, maybe five? So, your assurances that you stopped seeing Jane before Christmas - not true? And what do you mean, she’s in trouble? There’s a child here, Henry, meaning two people were involved. Are you saying you couldn’t be the father?” 

“I don’t know. It could have been anyone. She’s known for sleeping around.“ Henry hesitated, seeing the dismayed look on Margaret’s face at the way he talked. “Margaret, she’s just looking anywhere to get married. I told her I would help her financially to have this taken care of … “ Henry stopped. Margaret was giving him a look he didn’t recognize, but he knew it wasn’t good.

Margaret left for good the next day. The man who had spoken about Jane the day before was not someone she knew at all. The Henry she knew had never been cruel or callous, the Henry she knew was gone. She contacted her lawyer and authorized the filing of the divorce petition and then went home to Crampton.

***

Hannah closed her eyes and sighed heavily. She and John were sitting in Dr Aboudy’s conference room, again. They were listening to the oncology team, again. They were talking about surgery, again. I can’t. I just can’t do this again. I was fine, the seizures had stopped, … What’s the point? I’ve had a good life … Hannah suddenly became aware that the others had left and John was talking to her.

Hannah had had eighteen months of clear MRIs, and all of her doctors agreed in December that she could stop her chemo regimen; everything pointed to her having beaten the cancer. Then, the telephone call from Dr Hamper after her latest scan, clear evidence of new tumor growth. John had insisted that they go to Sloan Kettering to review their options.

“Mother, a second surgery is extremely unusual, but it is the only choice we have right now. We have to know what the tumor is in order to determine the best treatment options. Radiation is not an option this time, so there’s just chemo. There are several small studies with very promising results.”

“Mother, I know you don’t want to do this, I know you just want to go home, and please believe me, I would not ask if you were in any pain, you know that, don’t you? Please. at least consider the surgery. For Beth, for Catherine Hannah, for all of us.”

Hannah smiled or grimaced, she wasn’t sure what it really was. Just eight months ago she had attended her granddaughter’s wedding in Ireland. Niall was a wonderful young man, and he was clearly in love with Beth. Catherine Hannah Monaghan had been born three months ago and Hannah received new photos by email almost every day. Beth had promised to come for a visit when the baby was six months old and Hannah was so looking forward to that. What now? Can I do this again? Is it worth it? She sighed. Yes, it is worth it. I’m not in any pain, and I want to be here with my family.

***

Margaret was nearing the end of her walk on the treadmill when she looked up and her breath caught in her throat. He’s here. He looks wonderful. I thought I’d never see him again. Oh, no. Hannah.

Margaret walked over to John, who was waiting for her with a small smile on his face. ”John, how is she?”

John told Margaret about the new tumor and what Hannah was going to do. They had returned to Crampton three days ago, and were able to move into the same house they had leased two years earlier. The new surgery was scheduled for the following week, as Hannah needed some time on medication before they could proceed.

“She’s hoping you will be able to come see her soon. This has depressed the hell out of her, of course, all of us really. We thought she’d beaten it, and it’s back, perhaps ... probably worse. I think the only reason she’s doing this again is because she hasn’t seen Catherine Hannah yet.” John smiled, thinking about the latest photos of the baby. 

He looked at Margaret intently. “How have you been? I heard … you aren’t with Henry?”

Hannah and Margaret had stayed in touch since they had seen each other last summer. Margaret told Hannah about her final break with Henry, but hadn’t mentioned the emailed scan. Jane had a baby girl while the divorce was pending and paternity testing showed that Henry was not the father. He called Margaret immediately to tell her that news, but the fact that his being the father had been such a strong possibility was enough for Margaret. Their divorce was finalized and Margaret had no intention of looking back.

Her emails to Hannah hadn’t been returned for the last ten days and she had begun to worry. Now she knew what had happened. Margaret simply ignored John’s question about Henry and focused on Hannah. She said, “John, of course I want to see Hannah. But, I don’t want to tire her or come at a bad time. I will call later today and I’ll find out from her when she wants a visit.”

Margaret saw Hannah several times before the surgery. Hannah had no ill effects from the new tumor, yet, and wanted to maintain a normal life for as long as she could. One or two members of the ambulance corps stopped to visit and Nick and Jo reacquainted themselves with Hannah and John.

Hannah’s surgery went well, the surgeons telling Hannah all traces of tumor had been surgically removed. Didn’t they tell me that last time? The cytology report was not good, and John had trouble giving Hannah an upbeat report when she asked if the tumor was just like the previous one. The first tumor had been a stage II, this one was a stage IV glioblastoma. However, John was encouraged by a few very small drug trials with good results. They had bought a few months, now they would try to buy more time.

Hannah settled back into the Crampton house shortly after surgery, and her friends began to visit. She had her bad days, when her thoughts didn’t seem as clear as usual, but John assured her it was just temporary from the new medication. She was tired, much more than before, and took naps in the afternoon.

John was happy to see Margaret so often. They still worked out at the same gym, and often walked together. Margaret never volunteered anything about her divorce, and so one day, John asked what happened. “Margaret, according to my mother, you and Henry were working things out between you. From my perspective, Henry was crazy about you, so was it you, I mean, did you … want … some o ... some thing else?” John coloured as he asked, not sure how to ask, not sure if he should ask.

Margaret looked thoughtfully at John. Her feelings for John, no, definitely not a factor in the divorce, definitely not. But since she had last seen Henry? Since John and Hannah had returned to Crampton? She found herself daydreaming about him, thinking of him when she was in bed alone at night, looking for him every day at the gym, looking for him whenever she went into Hannah’s house. This is not the time to talk about this, not with Hannah just over surgery, not knowing how the chemo is going yet. Margaret told John that they had grown too far apart with their separation, but she would always love Henry. She couldn’t share more with him, and John respected her privacy on the matter.

And Hannah’s seizures returned, mild, but disturbing. John was glad that Margaret was with her several times when she had seizures, because she recognized what was happening and remained calm, unlike the women in Hannah’s book club. They wanted to accommodate Hannah’s illness, so scheduled meetings at her house. However, after the second time Hannah had a seizure during a meeting, they decided they couldn’t meet there anymore, essentially dropping her from the club. 

Margaret came over the afternoon John found out about the club’s desertion of Hannah and heard him yelling as she walked onto the porch. Fran opened the door to Margaret, and told her Hannah was still napping. Margaret went to see if she could calm John down before he woke her up.

“Margaret, what’s the matter with these people? Mother so looked forward to those meetings. Her seizures barely last a minute or two and if you’re not paying attention, you often don’t even notice them. I’d like to strangle those women.” John was pacing around the kitchen, hitting the chairs as he walked.

“Yes, John, that would be really helpful. Hannah could visit you in prison after her regular MRI, very convenient for her.” John looked up, still annoyed and wondering why Margaret wasn’t angry at what the women did. 

“John, they’re frightened. Hannah is just like them, a grandmother, same age as many of them, lives the same life, and something terrible has happened to her. They are afraid, if it can happen to Hannah, it can happen to them. And every seizure reminds them that she isn’t better yet, … and may not be getting better.” 

”It’s not catching, it has nothing to do with who she is, they have nothing to be frightened about, they are just being cruel,” John said, heatedly.

“No, they aren’t, they’re just being human, John. They can’t help themselves.” She smiled, looking at him carefully. “You are a wonderful son to her, and that may upset some of them also. What would their children do if they got sick? Maybe they can’t stand thinking about that.”

Margaret continued her visits, and one day John was surprised to hear a lively discussion when he opened the front door. He walked into the living room to find Hannah, Margaret and four other ambulance corps members all discussing the romantic hero of an old book set in 1850’s England. All discussion stopped as John walked into the room, then they burst out laughing, saying something about tall and dark and cotton mills.

Things were looking up. Hannah’s MRIs remained clear, and she was tolerating the chemo regimen very well. It would be just another three weeks before Beth would be visiting with Catherine Hannah, something Hannah could look forward to.

Chapter 16. Visitors.

Hannah had trouble napping that afternoon. Beth and Catherine Hannah were due at Liberty International at 6:30 and John had already left for the airport. Pete Stanton had fitted the new baby seat in the back of the car for him the day before, so he knew it was properly done. No chances taken with this baby.

John had told Nick that he was buying baby furniture for the visit, and Nick stopped him. “John, don’t. I have everything you need. My grandson stayed with us when Edie was sick in hospital for two months when he was an infant. I’ve got everything stored in the house, and every time a member has a small visitor, it gets used. Don’t buy a thing. I’ll bring it all over this weekend.” And Nick and John completed the baby’s room the Saturday before Beth and Catherine Hannah arrived.

Beth walked in the front door and just stood in the living room, hugging Hannah as close as she could, tears streaming down her cheeks. She had been so frightened she would never see her again, and that she would never see her with Catherine Hannah, who was now smiling in her grandfather’s arms. “Women,” John muttered softly but happily, as he blinked rapidly. “I know you’re happy to see each other, so stop crying right now.”

Five days later, John saw Margaret at the gym and walked over to her. He had been busy at home with the visitors, but was concerned that Margaret had stopped visiting. “Margaret, is something wrong? Mother has really missed seeing you. She thought something might have happened.”

“John, no, I just thought that you all would be so busy with Beth and the baby that it would be too much for Hannah to have more people in the house. I thought I’d just come for our book session on Tuesdays, and otherwise, stay out of the way.”

“Well, that won’t do at all. Mother wants you to meet Beth and of course, Catherine Hannah, and she misses your visits. She’s been quite cranky about it, but don’t tell her I told you that,” he said, with one of his killer smiles. Margaret looked away from him, hoping he hadn’t seen her staring at him. It had been too long since she’d seen him, and she had been thinking about him the whole time she had been walking this morning. He looks good in those gym shorts. And a little stubble goes a long way toward making my day.

“Oh, by the way,” John said, “I was speaking to Nick about CPR. I forgot to get re-certified early when I was back at St. Joseph’s and my card is going to expire in the next two weeks.” John flushed slightly at twisting the truth and glanced at Margaret. She must realize I could have gotten re-certified at the hospital at home any time I wanted. 

“I really need to take a class, and I can’t go to the only one being given at Milton this month. Is it possible that one of the instructors at the corps could help me out?” John raised his eyebrows and gave her another smile, and she laughed. She knew that John knew she was a CPR instructor. 

“John, I can’t give you PALS or ACLS, just BLS.”

“Oh, that’s fine, my other cards are good. I just need the BLS for now. Would you be able to do it sometime this week?

”Yes, we could do it drill night, before or after. When I have just one student, and it’s a renewal, we can pretty much fly through the class, assuming the student is bright enough,” she teased. John smiled and agreed, but he was disappointed in the night she had chosen. Lots of members would be around.

Margaret went to see Hannah the next day, and she met Beth. Margaret saw a beautiful young woman, with her father’s eyes and dark hair, but a smaller nose. Good thing, he just carries it off with that smile, it would swamp her face. She had the impression that Beth was watching her, studying her almost, while they all talked. 

Beth listened to the other women while she attended to the baby, mulling over all Hannah and Fran had told her about Margaret in the past few days. This woman is my grandmother’s best friend here, in spite of the difference in their ages. And Aunt Fran and Grandmother seem to think Dad likes her more than as a friend. She seemed indifferent seeing him earlier, I hope he doesn’t get hurt.

Hannah told John she wanted all of their Crampton friends invited for a get together. She didn’t call it a party, because she was sure John would object on the grounds that Hannah wasn’t strong enough for one. But Hannah convinced John that she would manage just fine, because it would be catered, and Beth and Fran could do everything else that needed to be done around the house.

Drill night, and John was at the building an hour early. When he walked in, he saw a young man standing next to Margaret, asking questions about the corps. “John, good, we can get started. This is Brian, he’s just joined us from Milton’s corps and his CPR card is up the end of this month, too, so you’re taking the renewal class together tonight.” John smiled at Margaret, but shot an unhappy look at Brian, who wondered who the disgruntled man was and why he didn’t like him when he didn’t even know him.

The following weekend the house and garden were filled with friends. Hannah proudly introduced her great granddaughter to everyone who showed the slightest interest. Hannah and Catherine Hannah had both taken afternoon naps, and were ready to party, at least for a while.

Nick spent all evening with Margaret. There were several issues about the corps, finances, some new teenage members, mutual aid, that had come up just recently. He needed to talk with Margaret, and he was missing Jo. She was in Colorado, helping her mother get her finances in order and move to an assisted living facility. Nick had been on his own for almost a month, and appreciated having Margaret’s undivided attention for the evening. 

At one point Nick asked Margaret if he should disappear for a while so she could spend some time with John. “Of course not. John is the host, he has guests to attend to, and family. His daughter seems to hover a bit, doesn’t she?” Margaret had noticed Beth staying close to her father while watching her and Nick, and she wondered why Beth seemed to be frowning at them so often.

Two days before Beth and Catherine Hannah were scheduled to fly home, Beth asked Margaret to sit with her by the pool. Margaret had the distinct impression that there was an agenda for this talk, but she didn’t know what it was. She had visited Hannah two or three days a week the entire time that Beth had been visiting, but they had never had what Margaret would consider a warm conversation. After the small talk had been exhausted, Beth looked squarely at Margaret and asked, “Margaret, why did you get divorced? Was there someone else?”

Margaret looked squarely back and said, “Well, that would be none of your business, Beth.” Margaret stood up and turned to leave. Beth grabbed her hand, and asked her to sit again. Margaret stood and waited.

“Please, I didn’t mean to be rude, I’m just concerned about my father. I know that he’s … fond of you, and I don’t want him to get hurt. He was completely blind sided when my mother divorced him, and he’s not very savvy about dating or women in general.” Beth seemed to hesitate for a moment, but plunged on. “You have lots of friends, I saw that at the party, some much more friendly with you than others.“ Beth saw Margaret’s eyebrows go up. “I don’t think you even notice my father or how he feels about you.”

Not notice him? She’s a bit thick, or I’m a much better actress than I thought. “Beth, does John know you’re talking to me about him? Because if he doesn’t, then I must say I don’t think this is appropriate. And if he does, then I really have to wonder at a grown man who sends his daughter to talk to someone he’s ‘fond of’. All in all, I’d say this conversation is over.” With that, Margaret got up and went back into the house. What was that all about? What does my divorce have to do with anything? I shouldn’t have friends? Nick - she thinks I’m interested in Nick, a married man. Is she speaking for John, with his approval? If so, I’d better rethink this attraction right now.

The morning of Beth’s return flight to Ireland, she found John in the kitchen with Fran. “Dad, can we talk? Alone, please?” John took Beth’s hand and they walked into the garden.

“What’s the matter? Catherine Hannah’s all right, isn’t she?” John looked anxiously at Beth, seeing that she was troubled about something.

“No, no, she’s fine, I’m fine. It’s just something … It’s Margaret. I’ve seen how you look at her, heard how you and Grandmother talk about her. Dad, I don’t want you to get hurt. I was hoping you would have found someone by now and gotten married again. But I don’t think …” 

John interrupted. “Beth, you don’t have to worry about me. I think I have found the woman I want, I just don’t know yet if she’s interested in me that way at all. ”

“Dad, let me finish. I talked to Margaret two days ago. I wanted her to know that I didn’t think you two should be a couple. She’s more interested in that other man anyway. I … ” Beth stopped, seeing the dismay in her father’s face.

“What? Beth, how could you? You had no business talking to Margaret … I can’t believe what you are saying. Why would you … ? You have no idea what Margaret has been through, or how good a friend Nick has been to her.” John sighed. “What did she say to you?”

”Well, she said her divorce was none of my business and that if you had something to say to her, you could say it yourself. Dad, I’m so sorry, I was just concerned for you. I hate to see you alone, now that I know how happy marriage can make you.” Beth began to cry, and John sighed and took her in his arms.

“Don’t worry about me. I think I know what I’m doing. I am glad to hear you’re happy. You think I didn’t know that you were afraid of marriage because of us? I know my marriage to your mother was not the greatest, but we did get you and Max, so it wasn’t all bad, was it? And I think I’ve got my eye on the perfect woman for me, unless of course you’ve screwed that up completely.” Beth looked up quickly, panic in her eyes, until she saw John smiling at her. “It will be all right. Margaret has seen me playing the perfect git already, she’ll just think you inherited that quality from me.”

Two days later John stepped onto the treadmill next to Margaret. Neither of them said anything for thirty minutes, and then Margaret stopped and left the gym. John followed her out to her car.

“Margaret, Beth told me she said some pretty foolish things to you the other day. I had no idea she was going to talk to you, and believe me, … ” 

Margaret smiled and put her hand on John’s arm. “Don’t worry, John. I know you’re old enough to speak for yourself. If you have something to say to me, I’m sure you will when you’re ready.” Margaret moved her hand lightly down his arm, then got in her car and left. 

Chapter 17. The Party

John was looking forward to this evening. Nick and Jo were having a party and he knew Margaret planned on being there. She had seemed quieter recently, and he had sensed her watching him when she visited Hannah, almost waiting for something. Had what Beth said to her bothered her more than she showed? Well, tonight was the night. He would ask her out on an actual date, he just hadn’t decided what to say, or even how he would conquer his nervousness. This is ridiculous. I’m a grown man, and I feel like a schoolboy getting up the nerve to ask for my first date.

John showered and then shaved carefully. Stubble appeared in the early evening if he didn’t shave twice a day. Never know, I might get close enough tonight, don’t want to scratch her. He knew the party was a casual affair, probably moving out of the house to the back yard, and many people would wear shorts and t-shirts, but he was taking no chances on his appearance tonight. He wanted to impress Margaret, wanted her to notice him as a man, not just as Hannah’s son or Fran’s brother.

He put on his robe and looked in his closet for just the right thing. He saw a shirt that Margaret had once noticed and complimented him on. Okay, that was the shirt, now which pants? Or should he wear shorts? He heard a knock on his door, and said, “Come in.” 

Fran walked in and sat in the armchair. “Big date tonight?” she said with a grin.

John groaned. “Am I that obvious?”

Fran smiled and said, “We all like Margaret, and I know she likes you.” John perked up at that comment and was thinking of pumping her for information about Margaret’s feelings for him, but Fran continued talking. “You both deserve some happiness. John, I know you won’t hear anything said against Ann, but not all marriages are like yours was. Or mine, for that matter,” she said with a grimace.

“I didn’t know that until I met Fred. I know I got married too young, which was not Leonards’ fault. I had no idea what a real marriage should be, with father dying when I was still so young. I played at marriage, and Leonards wasn’t really interested in me as a person, he just wanted me on his arm to impress his business associates and to produce an heir. Of course, when he finally found out he himself wasn’t in the production business, so to speak, he lost interest in me that way. I suppose he would have divorced me if he hadn’t thought the settlement would take too much of his money. I was angry and bitter for a long time after he died, but that has changed, thanks to Fred.”

“I’d love to see you as happy as I am now. And no, I won’t criticize Ann, but I will say that your marriage seemed more like a convenient arrangement than a matter of love. And trust your little sister on this, love is the answer.”

John walked over to the chair and kissed Fran on the top of the head. “I’m happy for you Fran. Really. Now let’s get to the important stuff. Which pants shall I wear with this shirt, or should I wear shorts?”

Fran laughed and picked a pair of khaki coloured shorts from his shelf. “These are perfect with that blue shirt, and the color of it will take Margaret’s eyes right up to yours. Then you can wow her with your smile, big brother.”

John arrived at Nick’s at 7:30 and the party was in full swing. Nick was on the patio, standing at the grill and taking orders for kebabs, steaks, chicken and grilled vegetables on skewers. He greeted John with a big grin, and nodded his head toward the kitchen. John could see Margaret in there with Jo and several other people. Did everyone know he was crazy about Margaret, except her?

John grabbed a beer and went over to a group of men who were talking animatedly. Unfortunately, the conversation was about football and baseball, and John never watched games. He missed Henry; well, no, not really, he missed the conversations they had when they first met. How could Henry be so smart and so dumb at the same time? How could he want someone else when he had Margaret?

He wandered back to where Nick was talking with Bobby about new requirements the state was considering for EMTs. John joined in the discussion, adding a doctor’s perspective on what he thought the state was up to, all the while watching where Margaret wandered for the next half hour.

Almost everyone was out on the patio or in the back yard around the pool. About half of the group had brought swimsuits and those guests were enjoying the coolness of the pool on this early summer evening. John had spoken to Margaret, just casual how-are-you type of chat with other people always around, and she was now sitting with Jo discussing the upcoming purchase of their new rig. Why is she always with someone else tonight? I need to talk to her privately, I can’t ask her out in front of other people.

Nick had piped music out to the patio for most of the evening, but now that everyone had eaten and the sun had gone down, he changed the music and some couples got up to dance on the large deck. Nick looked over at John, and raised his eyebrows. John just rolled his eyes and looked away, embarrassed that Nick knew he wanted to be with Margaret and was watching with interest to see what he would do. 

Okay, John, pull yourself together before someone else asks her to dance. John walked over to Margaret, and just stood near her for a while, working up his courage. Margaret looked up at him and smiled. “Hello again, John. Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yes. Um, would you like to dance? Or, maybe you’re tired; we could just sit and talk.”

“I’d love to dance,” she said, standing up and walking to the deck ahead of him. He followed behind, admiring that lovely view as she swayed as she walked. She turned and looked at him, with a small smile on her lips, and waited for him to move to her. John put his arms around her waist, Margaret put her hands on John’s arms, they moved closer together and began to move with the music. After a few minutes, Margaret put her hands and head against John’s chest and let out a small sigh.

John’s chest tightened so he felt he couldn’t breathe; he was warm all over, aware of every inch of her that was touching him. They simply moved to the music for some time while John was trying to think of the right words to ask Margaret out on an actual date. He didn’t want to spoil this moment. The music stopped and they just stood together for a while, not talking. Nick quickly put on another disc and John smiled at Margaret, taking her back into his arms.

They danced slowly for another few minutes and then he felt Margaret’s hands moving against his chest. He put his face down to the top of her head and very lightly brushed his lips against her hair, hoping she wouldn’t bolt. Margaret moved one hand slowly up his chest and around to the nape of his neck, reaching her fingers into his hair, causing John to shudder. He closed his eyes and let out a low moan of pleasure. He felt her other hand on his cheek and opened his eyes to see her staring up at him. 

She stood on tiptoe and brushed her lips lightly across his. They were standing still now, just staring into each other’s eyes. John didn’t move, he couldn’t believe she had just done that. Margaret reached up once more, and kissed him again, this time slipping her tongue between his lips. John gasped, and Margaret’s tongue was in his open mouth, caressing his tongue. John just stood there, unable to think, unable to move, thrilled with the sensations going through his body.

Margaret pulled away, her hands on his arms, and looked up at John. She saw bewilderment in his eyes. She gave a small smile, turned and left the deck, walking into the house. Nick walked over to where John seemed rooted to the ground and said, “If I weren’t married and she did that to me, I’d have whisked her off home by now. What are you waiting for?” With that, Nick gave John a shove in the direction of the house.

John walked into the house and saw Margaret leaving by the garage door. He hastily turned to say good night to Jo, thanking her for her hospitality, and headed after Margaret. He could just make out her figure in the dark, walking well down the pathway near the shed where Nick had his workshop. He called to her, and she stopped and turned to say good night to him.

John intended simply to talk to Margaret, to ask her to go out with him, but when he reached her side, he was so overwhelmed by the way he was feeling that he pulled her into his arms. He breathed her name as he bent to kiss her and his heart soared as he felt her respond to his lips. He was more aroused than he had ever been in his life. His kisses became more urgent, and he thrilled as he felt Margaret’s urgency in her responding kisses, her tongue startling him once again. 

He felt Margaret pressing her body against him as he moved her back against the wall of the workshop. He felt her hands on his back, under his shirt, as he moved his own hands over her body. Instinctively, he moved the two of them around to the side of the shed that was in utter darkness, and they continued to kiss and explore each other. John could no longer think, only feel. “Margaret,” he moaned, “Margaret.”

Chapter 18a. The Party’s Aftermath - John

John woke up the next morning to the sun streaming into the bedroom. It looked like a beautiful day, and John stretched and flung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up. Then he felt the hangover and remembered how he got it.

Oh, no. John groaned, remembering what he had done last night at the party. Oh, God, what she must think of me. I acted the animal last night, she must hate me. John fell back on the bed, wondering what was the point of getting up now.

John heard Hannah calling to him to say breakfast was on the table. It was Sunday, so she was probably feeling pretty good; her next treatment was tomorrow and the effects wouldn’t catch her up until Tuesday or Wednesday. John put on a pair of gym pants and a t-shirt and went to the kitchen, kissed his mother on the top of her head and headed for the coffee maker.

Hannah watched John out of the corner of her eye. She knew, or actually she hoped, that something had happened last night, and she was waiting for John to speak. But from the morose look on his face and his silence, she realized she would have to start this particular conversation.

“So, how was the party last night? Did you have a good time? Margaret was there, wasn’t she?”

John flushed, remembering the dance and its aftermath. “It was nice. Nick and Jo love to entertain, and always have good food and drink. I knew most of the people there. Margaret was there, but ... ,” he hesitated, then added, “she left before I did.”

John sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He put his coffee cup on the table and got two headache tablets from the medicine chest in the bath off the kitchen. He grimaced as he swallowed them and went back to staring into his cup. He hoped that was the end of the questions from Hannah.

“Where’s Fran this morning?” John thought he would get his mother’s mind off Margaret by changing the subject. Fat chance.

“Fran’s sleeping in this morning. She was up late with me when I wasn’t feeling well. And yes, I feel fine now, so no fussing, please. Never mind your sister, did you get to talk to Margaret, as you said you wanted to?” This is like digging for gold, Hannah thought, every little bit is hard fought for.

John glanced at his mother, wondering why she was so interested in what happened at the party. Hannah saw the look.

Hannah reached over and put her hand on John’s arm. “John, you look awful today, as if you barely slept, you appear to have a hangover, which is very unusual for you, and you look miserable. Yet you say the party was nice. I may be old and have a brain tumor, but I’m not senile. Something must have gone wrong. Can’t you talk about it?”

“Mother, I … ” John took a deep breath. “I did something stupid, please don’t ask what because there’s no way I can tell you. But Margaret was upset, and I don’t blame her. She left immediately after our … uh, encounter. Nick found me just as I was leaving and asked me to stay and talk to a friend of his, and I had a couple of drinks. Well, more than a couple, I don’t really know. I was so miserable I wasn’t paying attention. I’m suffering for it now.”

Hannah sighed. She wanted happiness for John more than anything, and she thought he could find it with Margaret. “John, so you made a mistake last night. Margaret isn’t an unforgiving woman, she has a generous heart. She’ll forgive whatever it was. Just talk to her when she comes over this afternoon.”

“Mother, I don’t think she’ll come. She won’t want to be in the same house with me today.” If ever again, John thought to himself. “Not after last night.”

“Nonsense, John. Margaret has come over to see me every Sunday since these treatments began, and she won’t let any foolishness between the two of you stop that.” Hannah got up from the table and went to her room to tidy up and prepare for the visit. Well, I wonder how bad last night was that John thinks he has scared Margaret away completely?

John got up from the table and went back to his room. He collapsed on the bed and stared at the ceiling. How do I apologize for something like this? Will Margaret let me apologize, or …. What do you say to a woman when you push her up against a wall and … John groaned again. Margaret hadn’t said a word last night, after … , and it was so dark he couldn’t see her face. She had just turned and walked off into the darkness when she heard Nick calling to John.

John’s head was still pounding and he was tired. He drifted off to sleep, thinking of Margaret and how wonderful she had looked and felt in his arms last night. John dreamed of making love to Margaret in a huge bed, slowly exploring her body with his eyes, his hands, his mouth, her response everything he had hoped for … Then his dream turned into a nightmare. Margaret was looking at him in horror, as he pulled her from the bed and held her up against the wall, giving her no chance to protest. John woke in a sweat, disorientated, heart pounding. He groaned, remembering last night. What had he done, how could he fix it? He couldn’t bear having scared and repulsed her.

John looked at the clock - 12:30! Well, at least the headache was gone. John decided to take a bike ride, hoping the exertion would keep him from thinking about Margaret and whether Hannah was right about her coming today. He tried to formulate an apology, something, anything to say to her the next time he saw her, but everything he came up with sounded pathetic. Well, she won’t come anyway. Stop thinking about it! You’re not getting anywhere.

John returned an hour later from his ride, tired, but feeling better physically. Mentally, not better; he hadn’t worked out anything to say yet and the exercise had not taken his mind off Margaret for a second. He went to his room and took a long, hot shower. He put on an old t-shirt and track pants, assuming he was home for the day unless Hannah and Fran wanted to go out to dinner. He could change again if he had to.

John walked out to the patio, and found his mother talking quietly with Margaret. Margaret looked up at him and said, “Good afternoon, John. How are you feeling today?”

Chapter 18b. The Party’s Aftermath - Margaret

Margaret woke up to the sun streaming into her bedroom. She stretched fully, her body feeling wonderful. She let out a long sigh, remembering the night before. That was great. It’s been a year. Good grief, that long? Margaret laughed out loud as she remembered how she felt last night.

Margaret checked on Luke. He had lost more weight, and was sleeping a lot more in the last few weeks, but he seemed all right this morning. Then she got into the shower, deciding she needed one before and one after the gym today. As the hot water hit her back, she realized she was a little sore. Being pushed against that shed. Well, thank goodness it was molded vinyl, at least I won’t have any splinters in my backside. She laughed.

She finished her workout, feeling very good, but disappointed that John hadn’t been at the gym. He always comes on Sunday. I hope Hannah is feeling okay. Maybe he had too much to drink last night? No, he doesn’t do that. He certainly wasn’t drunk when I left him.

As Margaret took her second shower, her thoughts turned again to the night before. I can’t stop thinking about last night. He was certainly very passionate. Who knew? The whole thing was quite a shock. Very quick too. Well, maybe it’s been as long for him as it was for me, quick was just fine - for now. 

John had never even asked her out, although he knew she was dating other men. One evening she and Charlie Farrell had walked into a local restaurant and seen John, Fran and Hannah at a table. Charlie and Margaret had settled in a small, out of the way booth, and Charlie kept his arm around her shoulders, whispering in her ear from time to time. She had seen John scowling at them. Humph, she had thought that night, I don’t need his approval to be out with someone. Although … I certainly wouldn’t mind his mouth next to my ear. Why doesn’t he ask?

She made it clear to the men who asked her out that there would be no sex in exchange for dinner or anything else. If that was a problem for them, well, she could eat at home, thank you very much. She had loved her sex life with Henry, but she wasn’t needy and she would wait until the right time and the right person. He hadn’t shown up - until last night.

Margaret went to see Hannah every Sunday, and this week would be no exception. Indeed, she had more to look forward to than usual. She grinned and got ready to go out.

Margaret was sitting and talking to Hannah on the patio when she saw John come out of the house. She looked up at him and said, “Good afternoon, John. How are you feeling today?”

Chapter 19. Tell Me What Happened 

Hannah saw John’s look of surprise at Margaret’s greeting, and smiled to herself. Perhaps I should go to my bedroom to retrieve something to show Margaret; yes, that would give them some time to sort out what was troubling John so much earlier this morning. “Excuse me, Margaret, I will be back in a few minutes,” Hannah said, getting up and giving John what she hoped was an encouraging look. The look she got back was not good.

John was struggling with what to do; he really had convinced himself that Margaret wouldn’t come today, that he had more time. He was still unsure of what to say or how to say it. He had his back to Margaret as his mother disappeared into the house. He took a deep breath, then steeled himself as he turned to face her.

“How are you today, Margaret?” Well, that’s a pretty lame question. You know what you did, how would you expect her to be, being confronted with you when all she really wants is to visit with your mother.

“I’m fine today, John. Fortunately, I didn’t drink anything last night,” she said with a smile. 

Mother must have told her I had a hangover. She doesn’t think I was drunk last night when I … ? 

“Margaret, I...,” he started, then stopped. He reddened, and brought his eyes up to look at her, sitting at the table. She looked gorgeous, and he looked away, catching his breath. “I’m so sorry. Last night, I didn’t mean to …” John stopped again, not knowing how to continue. He couldn’t look her in the eye, afraid of the disdain and disgust he would see.

Margaret looked at him quizzically. “What exactly did you not mean to do, John?”

John flushed again. At this rate, he thought, he must look permanently sunburned, and that thought embarrassed him all over again. He glanced at Margaret and was disconcerted to see that she looked amused at his discomfort. He started to get angry, how dare she laugh, this is serious, then stopped himself. If she is amused, then she can’t be as angry as I thought, right? But why wouldn’t she be angry, why isn’t she disgusted with me? John turned again, as he heard Hannah returning to the patio.

“Hannah, that’s a lovely jacket, it will look great with those new silk trousers. I’ll have to smarten myself up the next time we go out together, won’t I?“

Hannah sat down again, and she and Margaret looked up at John. “John, why don’t you join us for tea? Might make you less fidgety,” Hannah said, as she saw John run his fingers through his hair again. “Margaret was just telling me about the party last night.” John shot a quick look at his mother, and saw nothing alarming in her manner. What part of the evening was Margaret talking about? She wouldn’t tell my mother about … “I want us to have another party here with all of our Crampton friends when I am finished with these boring treatments,” Hannah continued.

Margaret sat for a while, talking with Hannah and waiting for John to sit or talk. He did neither, just paced back and forth near the edge of the pool. I’m making him nervous. Is he regretting last night? After several minutes, she looked at Hannah and said, “I have to apologize. I know it’s early, but I have to go. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” she said, with a glance towards John, “and I am too tired to be good company any longer this afternoon. I’ll call you tomorrow and probably stop by on Wednesday when I’m on duty. I hope you aren’t too tired tomorrow after your treatment. Please call me if you need anything.”

With that, Margaret got up and walked into the house to the front door. John looked quickly at Hannah, and then followed Margaret inside. He called her name and Margaret turned. She had a small smile on her lips. “I hope you are just coming to say goodbye, John. What happened the last time you called after me to say goodbye is not something you would want to repeat in front of your mother, is it?”

John stopped in his tracks. She’s mocking me! This is killing me and she’s making jokes? John cleared his throat and said, “Margaret, I’d really like to talk to you, to explain about last night. Could you possibly see your way clear to having coffee with me tonight? Maybe 8:00 at Steve’s Cafe? I could meet you there or pick you up, whichever you prefer.”

“John, I really am tired and I would prefer not to go out tonight. But if you want to come to my house at 8:00, I think I could manage to make a cup of tea for you and then we can talk as much as you like. What do you say?”

John was surprised that Margaret would invite him to her house. He hadn’t been there since they had returned to Crampton. He quickly agreed and she left. John wandered back out to the patio and Hannah watched him as he sat down and just stared at the table, lost in thought. Fran and Fred came out onto the patio, and Fran looked at Hannah, raising her eyebrows and nodding at John. Hannah just shook her head. Fred rolled his eyes at them and decided to go for a swim, leaving the family drama to the women.

“John, what happened last night?” Hannah asked. John looked up blankly, not registering the words. She asked again, “What happened between you and Margaret last night? Margaret didn’t seem bothered by seeing you today, yet you are acting as if whatever relationship you had ended last night. Why?”

“Mother, I told you this morning that I could not tell you about it. I really don’t know what to make of the way Margaret is acting this afternoon, but trust me, what I did last night would not have made you proud of me. Can we leave it at that?” John slumped back in his chair.

Fran looked at him carefully. “Come on John,” she said. “I need to talk to you privately. Now.”

“Fran, I have nothing to say if you are going to ask what happened last night. It isn’t something I can talk about to anyone.”

“John, I am not asking you anymore, I am telling you, I need to talk to you now, in your room. So let’s go.” Fran stood up and pulled John to his feet and started pushing him towards the patio door. John reluctantly went inside and the two of them faced off in his room, John standing with his arms folded across his chest, as if protecting himself from any intrusion by his sister.

“Tell me what happened,” she said quietly.

“Fran, I can’t. It’s too embarrassing, it’s not something brothers talk to their sisters about, it involves Margaret, it’s too private. Please stop asking,” John pleaded for her understanding.

“John, please. Whatever happened is tearing you up and I don’t think you’ve got it right. Margaret seems fine today. I was with Mother when Margaret arrived, and she seemed to be looking for you when she came in, and not in apprehension, but in anticipation, I’m sure. So come on, please, please, please, tell your agony aunt sister and let me help.”

John sat on the edge of the bed, just staring for a while, as Fran waited patiently. John started to talk, slowly, hesitantly at first, giving a rough outline of what happened at the party. He told her who was there, the food, the music, then he stopped. He sighed and started to talk about dancing with Margaret, the kisses, Margaret walking away, and catching up to her at the shed. As to what happened then, John blushed deeply and simply said that they had been intimate behind the shed, but that Margaret left immediately when someone had called out to him in the dark.

“That’s it?” Fran asked, with a bemused look. “You’ve been agonizing over the fact that she didn’t speak to you after sex? Oh, stop blushing, for heaven’s sake, John, that is what you meant by ‘intimate’, isn’t it?” 

“So, someone nearly discovered you having sex outside, which by the way sounds really hot to me, I’ll have to talk to Fred about this,” Fran said with a grin, “and Margaret left discreetly. That sounds like the smart thing to do to me, and you’re upset that she did that?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I … I wasn’t … I didn’t …, I shouldn’t have...” He stopped again, embarrassed to be talking to his sister about his sex life, but determined to get it out now that he had started to tell her. “It wasn’t what it should have been at all. It wasn’t right for her. I was selfish and thoughtless, I was so … “ John hesitated to say what he was thinking, but plunged on. “Please Fran, I can’t explain any more specifically, but I am sure Margaret must have been appalled at my behaviour, and I don’t know how or if I can ever make it right,” he finished very quietly, his voice catching.

“John, you are not a thoughtless man, or a selfish one. I know it and just as importantly, Margaret knows it. The woman I saw here today was not an unhappy woman. Margaret has come through a very bad time with Henry and I saw a determination in her in the past few months to get on with her life. She had a gleam in her eye today that I hadn’t seen in a long time, in fact, since long before her divorce. And now I’m guessing that you put it there last night.“ John looked up, startled at the idea.

“You have to talk to her, because you are so wrong about her feelings about last night, I am sure of it. Promise me you’ll talk to her?”

”I asked to see her tonight. I’m supposed to go over there at 8:00 for tea.” John looked at Fran and gave a shrug of his shoulders, as if to say it seemed hopeless to him. Fran got up and walked over to where he sat, put her arms around her big brother and gave him a hug. 

Chapter 20. Talk To Me. 

John stood at Margaret’s front door, giving himself a pep talk before ringing the doorbell. Okay, just stay calm. She invited you here, so she wants to see you. She is a generous woman. She must know how upset you are and she’s giving you the chance to apologize properly for your behaviour. Behaviour? You can’t even think of the right words for … John groaned. He still didn’t know how he was going to do this. He rang the doorbell.

He heard some movement inside, then the door opened and Margaret was there.

“John, come in,” she said, smiling at him. She was wearing cropped pants and a small, form fitting pink top that showed her slender figure very nicely. John was used to seeing her in the extra large t-shirts that she wore so much at the gym and on duty. This was quite a different look. John was starting to feel a little bit warmer than he had before the door opened.

“Come into the kitchen with me while I start the tea. I made several loaves of banana bread this afternoon, so we can have some with tea, okay?”

“That’s fine,” John said as he followed her into the kitchen. The aroma was wonderful. It also told John that Margaret would be away tomorrow, visiting her mother. She visited her every two weeks or so, often taking something home baked, and then staying to do any chores her mother had written on a list for her. Margaret’s mother had been brought up to believe that women did domestic chores, cooking, cleaning, sewing, and men took care of everything outside the house, and anything at all that required the use of a tool. The fact that her daughter could do all of the chores that her husband had done before he died did not shake this belief at all. Maria still did no “men’s work” herself.

John watched Margaret move about the kitchen quietly. She had a small smile on her face, as if she had a pleasant memory of something. John surreptitiously took a closer look at her as she turned to the sink. Was she wearing anything ... under that top? John flushed and looked away, embarrassed at what he was thinking. Nothing. Warmer still.

“John, you don’t have to wait in the kitchen with me. Why don’t you go up and make yourself comfortable in the lounge? I’ll be up in a few minutes. Here, if you don’t mind, take these plates up with the bread. Thanks.” Margaret turned back to the kettle and John walked upstairs. I smell vanilla, and ... wax?

John looked around. Margaret had made a few changes since he had been here last year. The grand piano was gone. It had been Henry’s when he was a teenager and he had kept it for sentimental reasons, never playing it. Margaret wasn’t sentimental at all, and it was gone. Perhaps she shipped it to Henry. No, probably not, his life has changed so much. There were still lots of books, but he noticed most of the physics and math titles were gone. Definitely sent to Henry. John saw a large television on one wall, and a tall bookcase filled with dvds. Wonder what she likes? Lots of classic black and white movies, Cary Grant, Hitchcock, Robin Hood, some blow-em-up action adventure...

He looked up as Margaret walked into the room. She was carrying a tray with the teapot and cups and she put it on the table in front of the larger sofa. She poured tea for both of them, sliced the bread and sat back, looking at John expectantly. John sat down close to the far end of the sofa and stared at the teacup in his hand. 

“Margaret, … ” He stopped, looking at her hands. She was so still, so calm, just waiting. His own hands were trembling and he put the teacup down.

“John, do you want me to start, about what happened last night? You said earlier you didn’t mean to do something. Do you regret what we did?” Margaret looked at him and smiled, hoping her openness might ease his nervousness. He looked startled at her suggestion. 

“Margaret, I appreciate your trying to make this easier for me, but I’m the one who acted wrongly. I have spent the entire day trying to find the right words to apologize for my behaviour last night. I know there is no excuse for what I did. I wasn’t drunk, not that that would be an excuse,“ he added hastily. “You did nothing to provoke me, I... I am so ashamed of treating you the way I did. You deserve so much better - that’s what I regret.” John took a deep breath. “Can you ever forgive me?”

Margaret just stared at him, not knowing quite where to start. “Wow. We obviously have a totally different view of what happened last night, John. Now I don’t know whether to smack you or kiss you.” John’s eyes opened wide and he looked at her, astonished. “Smacking you might be enjoyable, depending on what you did afterwards - forget that, pretend I didn’t say it,” she said with a grin. “But seriously, I do know from very recent experience that kissing you is very pleasant, well, much more than pleasant.”

John watched as Margaret moved on the sofa until she was kneeling on the cushion right next to him, looking up at him. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, she had the funniest little smile on her face as she came closer to him. She sighed, licked his lips lightly and grinned at him. John smiled, bewildered, wondering what she was planning to do next and whether he should do anything at all. All he could think was that anything he did might stop her from being so close and that was the last thing he wanted. Better be still, let her do anything she wants, because what she is doing right now is perfect.

Margaret looked at him again, and then climbed onto his lap, straddling his legs, facing him. Hmm, he likes this. “John,” she said, “did you spook yourself so badly last night that it’s all down to me tonight? Because if it is, that’s okay. I don’t mind. And I promise there won’t be any walls involved,” she said with a sly smile. 

John blushed. “Margaret, I am so sorry. I hadn’t planned that at all. I was just so overwhelmed by you, kissing you, touching you, that I couldn’t stop myself once I started. I had gone to the party last night just hoping to ask you out for dinner sometime this week. But then we danced, and you kissed me, and when you touched me when we were outside … , I just lost it,” his voice trailed off quietly as he stared at her.

Margaret put her hands on each side of John’s face and looked straight into his eyes. “Listen to me and believe me, John. If I didn’t want you to make love to me last night, up against a wall or anywhere else, it would not have happened. I wanted it as much as you did, more maybe, so stop apologizing, please,” she said.

“Margaret, …” John said softly.

“Ssshhh,” Margaret whispered.

Margaret leaned forward and kissed John very softly on the lips, her eyes wide open, watching his face for his reaction. He smiled shyly, and his eyes seemed to be bluer than she’d ever seen them. She lifted his chin and turned his head to the side and kissed his neck gently from the collarbone right up to behind his ear. John moaned, closing his eyes and putting his arms around her hips. He felt her hands on his chest, unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt. Margaret leaned in and kissed his chest, with her tongue lingering on his skin briefly, before pulling away to look at him again. 

"I'm dreaming, right?" he sighed, then he put his arms around Margaret and hugged her to him tightly, feeling the warmth of her against him, feeling the swell of her breasts in that lovely top. Margaret nestled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder. John’s hands wandered slowly over her back, winding up under the little top and against Margaret’s warm skin. They were both breathing more rapidly.

They sat that way for several minutes. It really is going to be up to me. He is totally spooked about having sex again. Should I? Is this worth it? Margaret thought back to the night before and smiled. Oh, yeah, fast but fabulous. Now we’ll try slow, and see what happens.

Margaret wriggled her way free, and pushed him over so he was reclining on the sofa, with her legs still straddling him. She kissed him lightly and grinned, then leaned over him and said, "Do you sew, John?" With that she pulled his shirt open quickly; he heard buttons hitting the floor, and they both laughed.

Chapter 21. A Very Busy Day

John woke up the next morning, and realized immediately where he was - right where he had dreamt of being. He rolled onto his side to look at Margaret, lying in bed next to him, wearing nothing but a smile. He couldn't believe what they had done, what she had done, last night. He had never dreamt a woman would want to do the things with him that Margaret had done, that any woman would give him such pleasure as she had last night. God, I hope it was as good for her as it was for me.

Sex with Ann had always been the same. She wouldn’t consider anything other than a straight coupling, in the dark, with as little foreplay as possible. She had always averted her eyes when he was aroused, and had never been naked in front of him after the children were born. John had been disappointed in their sex life, but Ann refused to talk about it. She told him she would “put up with it” but expected the frequency of sex would go down after the children and it had. By the time she announced they were getting divorced, they had not slept together more than once a month for a very long time.

When Margaret led John into the bedroom last night, he discovered the source of the vanilla odor - she had placed a dozen scented candles around the room, giving the bedroom a soft glow. So, she wanted me in here? She was expecting, hoping we would make love again? 

He had been excited, but a little apprehensive, when Margaret said she wanted them to be able to see each other - unlike the night before. She had slowly undressed him, caressing and kissing him as each piece of clothing came off, and she had looked at him with loving eyes. He had been self conscious of his middle aged body, and secretly relieved he had kept up at the gym and with his bike rides. She told him he was beautiful, and he had blushed down to his toes. 

He had shyly asked if he should undress her, and she smiled and said, “Of course, if you want to.” If I want to? That’s a joke, right? She showed him her middle aged body without any self-consciousness, just shrugging and saying, “This is what I am now.“ John had taken her into his arms and kissed her repeatedly, telling her what she was now was exactly what he wanted.

She felt John’s arousal and pushed him back onto the bed, after teasing him about wanting to have sex standing up again. “I love to see you blush, John,” she had said huskily, when he reddened at her remark. It was an hour before they settled back into each other’s arms, very happily tired and ready for sleep.

Now he leaned over to kiss her cheek, and she opened her eyes. “Awake at last, are we?” she smiled at him. “Luke woke me up two hours ago for food, but you were sleeping so soundly, I guess you didn’t hear him.“ She stretched her body its entire length against him before leaning over and kissing him, and he felt himself aroused by the sight and feel of her. He reached for her. “Oh, no you don’t,” she laughed, “you are getting up and out of here right now.”

John looked at her, confused. I don’t understand her at all. She looks quite happy, yet she’s kicking me out. I can’t be that bad in bed - not from the way she looked and acted last night.

“John, it’s MRI day for Hannah. You have one hour to get home, shower, shave, dress, eat and drive Hannah to Milton. Better get moving.”

“I live two minutes from here, and I’m not hungry for anything except you this morning,” he said as he reached for her. Twenty minutes later John was standing at Margaret’s front door, kissing her passionately.

“Margaret, … ”

“Go, John. We can talk later, you have no time.” Margaret pushed him out the door with a broad smile on her face. This day has certainly started off well. Now, off to see the mother for the day. Oh. I completely forgot about tonight, I’m seeing Charlie for dinner. 

Hannah and Fran were in the kitchen when they heard the front door open and close. John walked in with a broad grin on his face. “Mother, I’m off to shower and shave and then we’ll go to Milton.”

“John, have you had breakfast?” Hannah asked. “And what happened to your shirt?” She noticed that most of the buttons were missing and the shirt was flapping open. John reached down and pulled the shirt together, chuckling to himself.

“I’m starving,” he said, as he hurried down the hall. “Please fix me something while I’m in the shower.” Fran and Hannah smiled at each other, feeling that things at last were looking up for John and Margaret.

***

Hannah and John sat in Dr Colthurst’s office, waiting for the results from the latest MRI. Hannah knew that feeling fine was no indication of how her MRI would look, and her stomach was in knots while they waited. She had her eyes closed, trying to relax, then looked at John.

“So, is there anything you can tell me about last night that won’t cause either of us to blush?”

John grinned and flushed, and Hannah smiled and said, “I guess that’s a no, then.”

“No, no, Margaret and I talked and straightened out our misunderstanding. And, well, you know I spent the night, so … .” He paused, then sighed heavily. “I love her Mother. I’m going to ask her to marry me. I know we haven’t dated, but I do know her well, I know her character, and I love her. I’m sure.”

Hannah smiled and put her hand on John’s arm. She started to say something when the door opened and Dr Colthurst walked in. He started talking without preliminaries. “Well, all in all, I think the news is excellent. First, the latest MRI is clear. No re-growth, nothing untoward. Second, you have now completed fourteen weeks of this chemo regimen. The studies we’ve had have been very small, so we don’t like to be too optimistic too early. However, in every case where re-growth occurred, it started by the fourth or fifth week of the trial. You’ve gone so far beyond that, we’re very optimistic that we’ve got this controlled.” 

“With this kind of cancer, we won’t say we’ve cured you, but that we have controlled the tumor and essentially, we’re cautiously optimistic that we’ve won, but without declaring a winner. We are continuing the trial, and we really have no way to tell you for how long we will have to do that, but for now, we want to keep up exactly what we’ve been doing for the past fourteen weeks, with no changes at all. You will keep a regular MRI schedule, but I think, if everything stays the same over the next three to four weeks, you will be able to go home soon.”

Dr Colthurst left the room to give Hannah and John some privacy. Hannah cried in relief for a few minutes, John sitting with his arm around her shoulder. “Mother, shall we call Fran with the news, or wait until we get home?”

“Let’s call her now, she should have the news as soon as possible. She’s been … oh, John, I can’t even say how much Fran and you have done for me these two years. I could never have gone through this without both of you. I would have given up, you know that, and then I would have missed Beth and Niall, Catherine Hannah, you and Margaret, so much … . Call her now, and then, of course, I want to call Margaret.”

“Margaret is away seeing her mother today. Why don’t we invite her out to dinner with us tonight?” John was already thinking of what he wanted to say to Margaret the next time he saw her, and the sooner the better. The idea of going home without her - well, he didn’t even want to think about that.

***

“Mother, I’ve adjusted the screen in the front door. I don’t know how it got out of its track, but it’s fine now. I’ve changed the a/c filter, topped up the water and chemicals in the tank, set the time on both televisions and trimmed the hedges. That’s everything you had on the list that can be done today. Are you ready to go out?” Margaret looked again at the list Maria had written for her. Some of the chores couldn’t be done because she didn’t have the right tools. Next time. Now they needed to go to the hardware store to get a new tarp to cover the new a/c unit that was just installed.

Margaret’s mother had been living alone in a four bedroom house for the past eight years, since Richard had died. She still drove all over, but never on the highway, thank goodness. She spoke with her sister every day, and saw her at least two days every week. Margaret was sure the two ladies kept each other going, and that when one died, the other would follow soon after.

But Maria was starting to forget things, and Margaret was worried. She lived an hour and a half away, if there were an emergency, she might be too late to help. Margaret really didn’t want Maria to move in with her, they had never had the same opinion about anything, they didn’t relate to people in the same way, and Maria had lived in this house for fifty years. That’s where her life was, and her remaining friends kept her interested in life. But Margaret thought the day would come when she might have to ask Maria to come to Crampton. She just hoped it wasn’t too soon. Her own life was changing, again. How would this affect it?

***

John was concerned, he hadn’t been able to reach Margaret all day. He left voice mail messages on her answer machine and mobile, but she didn’t return the calls. Hannah and Fran wanted to go out to celebrate, so John had made reservations at a local restaurant, hoping he could see Margaret after dinner.

When they sat down in the restaurant, John saw Hannah and Fran give each other a look. “What’s wrong? Did you just see a rat?” he asked jokingly, then he saw them in the small booth. Margaret and that other man he’d seen her with before. And he had his arm around her and was leaning way too close to her in John’s opinion.

Charlie and Margaret had been best friends since university, and saw each other for dinner regularly. They shared tales of their love lives, and Margaret was happy to have something to say on her own behalf for the first time since the divorce. Charlie dated a lot, but not seriously. His partner had died four years earlier, and he wasn’t ready for another long term relationship yet. When they had seen John earlier at this same restaurant, Charlie teased Margaret about asking John out himself. 

John stood up and quickly walked over to the booth. “Margaret, could I speak with you please, privately?” He didn’t look at the man, he didn’t care that he was being rude, he wanted to talk to Margaret immediately and get her away from this other man.

“John, can’t it wait until tomorrow? I’m with someone else right now and you are intruding.” Margaret felt John’s rudeness to Charlie, and was annoyed.

“No, I need to talk now, please.” John realized he was being rude and upsetting Margaret, but he couldn’t stop now that he had started. He put out his hand to help Margaret from the booth. She ignored it. 

“I’m sorry, Dr Thornton. I will talk to you tomorrow.” She turned away from him, and changed places with Charlie in the booth, so that her back was to John’s table.

John stood there for a moment, embarrassed by his own behaviour, then walked back and sat down, wondering what had gone wrong so quickly. Fran reached over and put her hand on his arm. “Nice going, big brother.”

Chapter 22. The Campaign

When John arrived at the gym the next day, Margaret was half way through her workout, but when she glanced at him as he walked in, he decided not to interrupt her. He walked next to her until she finished, then they walked outside together. “Margaret, can we talk, please?”

Margaret walked past her car, onto the grass and over to a stand of trees, and stood in the shade. She took a deep breath. “John, I’m so sorry. I was … I was so rude last night and I apologize. I know you don’t know Charlie. He is one of my best friends, I told him all about you, and how nice you are, then, well, you acted as if he weren’t even there when you came to our table and I was annoyed. I was rude, and it was uncalled for. It’s just … . Well, no excuses, I apologize.”

John moved closer and took one of Margaret’s hands in his. He sighed. “Margaret, last night was special for us and I wanted you to share it. Hannah has gotten wonderful news about her progress; the tumor has been stopped. Yes, it could come back in another form, but we’ve beaten it this time around. We can go home in a month or so.” He looked down at Margaret to see her reaction to the news.

Margaret smiled broadly. “John, I am so happy for Hannah and you and Fran. That is wonderful news. She has been so brave and strong for so long.” John saw tears forming in Margaret’s eyes and he took her into his arms and they just stood quietly together for a few moments. Margaret pulled away from John and looked at him, puzzled.

“So, if what you had to say to me was such good news, why act the way you did? You were rude, John, and you’re never rude. What happened?”

“I was just stupid. I was upset to see you with someone else. Especially right after the night we shared. It was very special for me, then I see you out with another man, and it looked very … intimate. I am sorry I acted so badly, it had been such an emotional day, from waking up in your bed,” he smiled shyly and glanced at Margaret, “through Hannah’s appointment, and I had been so worried ... ” John stopped.

He took her in his arms again, and he kissed her deeply. He stroked her back while kissing her neck, something he had discovered recently that she liked very much. He murmured against her skin as he continued to kiss her, “Margaret, I have to see you tonight. Let me come over. Please. Let me apologize properly ... ” Margaret moaned, he kissed her again. “Please, Margaret, I need to be with you tonight. Please.“

Margaret was beginning to melt, and not from the summer day. She said quietly, “John, we’re standing here in a public place, and you are really making me … . You’d better stop or I won’t be responsible.” John kissed her again on the neck and started to slip his hand under her shirt. She quickly stepped away from him, laughing. “Stop that. You’re a very bad man, John Thornton. Yes, you can come over tonight, but I’m on duty for Joe, so I may run out on you.”

John arrived at 8:00 with panini for their dinner. He brought a bottle of wine, because Margaret never had any alcohol in the house, but then he realized she wouldn’t drink anything while on duty, so he decided not to open it. As Margaret pulled some plates out of the cupboard, Luke wandered into the kitchen and sniffed the food she had just put down for him.

“What in the world is that noise?” John said. It sounded almost mechanical but he couldn’t see anything working in the room, just the cat eating and turning his head at odd angles.

“Oh, that’s Luke. His jaw started making very odd noises as he eats now, as if the hinge doesn’t work properly. I know, sounds terrible. I’m taking him to the vet day after tomorrow, just to get checked out, I don’t know if what’s making that noise is hurting him, he’s barely eating. The vet doesn’t expect him to get any better, it’s just a matter of how much worse.”

Margaret and John settled on the sofa and ate their sandwiches in silence, Margaret leaning against John’s chest, John’s arm around Margaret. John’s fingers wandered up and down Margaret’s shoulder and arm and she shivered against him as he touched her, but didn’t ask him to stop. She finished half of her sandwich, then put the rest in the refrigerator. She went back upstairs and sat down on the floor in front of John.

“So, let’s talk about why my having friends doesn’t work for you.” Margaret looked very serious, although she gave John a small smile.

“Friends are always a good thing, Margaret,” John said, looking at Margaret very intently. “But I was unsure if Charlie was in the ‘friends with benefits’ category, and I’d prefer there weren’t any other men in that category. I … “ John stopped, seeing Margaret’s shoulders shaking. “Margaret, why are you laughing? What’s so funny?“

”‘Friends with benefits’?” Margaret was laughing so hard, she rolled on the floor. When she stopped laughing, she sat up and saw John looking totally unamused on the sofa. “John, I can’t believe you said that, although I do like the idea. I could put together a list, and match the friend with the particular benefit. Which benefit would you like to match?” She giggled and John scowled.

“Margaret, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” He took a deep breath. “I’m not the kind of man who sees more than one woman. I’m sure you would call me old fashioned, but I want to be your only friend with the particular benefit we both know I’m talking about. I want to be much more. Margaret, … ”

”Stop. Stop, please. I don’t want you to continue.” John tried to speak again and Margaret stopped him again. “No, no, don’t say any more.” Margaret got up from the floor and walked to the window. John followed her and put his arms around her.

“Margaret, what are you afraid of? I love you, I want to marry you, the sooner the better. Tomorrow, if you say so. I can’t stand the thought of us being separated again. We will … ”

“Afraid? I’m not afraid of anything. Don’t be ridiculous.” Margaret looked up at him, and he saw confusion and fear in her eyes. “John, I’ve been married my entire adult life. Why would I want to do that again? And, you’re possessive already, after just one weekend together, and I don’t want to be possessed. And, and, … you live a thousand miles away.” 

Margaret turned away, staring out the window, her thoughts in turmoil. How did he know? I am afraid. And I’m ashamed, everybody thinks I was brave about Henry and I wasn’t. I don’t want to get hurt like that again. I can’t, I can’t go through that again. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, fighting back tears, feeling the dread in the pit of her stomach at the thought of losing someone again. This is too fast. … Well, no ... we’ve known each other two years. Am I just fooling myself, wanting it to be just a sexual attraction, am I hiding what I really feel? I’ve had feelings for him almost since we first met at the gym, I didn’t even realize what was happening at first, I was so … married then. He can’t love me, can he? He’s a gorgeous doctor, what does he see in me? That’s a bit needy, isn’t it? I’m pretty good myself. We waited a long time to have sex, which was … very good, and will probably get better, with lots and lots of practice. The last thought brought a smile to Margaret’s face. 

John had been watching the emotions play across Margaret’s face, and when he saw the smile he stepped close again, putting his arms around her. Margaret leaned back against his chest, and they stared out the window. She’s scared, because of Henry, I know she is. I’d like to strangle him. She’s a very independent woman, and I love that about her. But Henry’s betrayal shook her to the core. So, what shall I do? First, I have to stop being such a jerk about her having her own life. But, how do I convince her we should be together? She’ll talk to Hannah, that can only help, Mother is sure we can be happy together. Damn, I can’t even think straight with her so close.

John kissed Margaret’s neck once, twice, three times, lingering longer each time. He heard her sigh and she leaned back further, arching her back as he kissed her again and moved his hands over her torso. She was breathing more heavily, and he could hear small moans. John kissed her cheek and looked over her shoulder, down to her breasts. She is aroused, she wants me - me! I can’t believe this has happened to me, with the horrible circumstances that brought me to this place, that I could find this woman and fall deeply in love. I’ve got to convince her that we should be together. Will a month be enough time? Well, I am starting this campaign right now, and I intend to be successful. I will never be happy without her.

John turned Margaret to face him and looked in her eyes. “Please just listen, you don’t have to say anything. I love you. I don’t know why you don’t want me to say it, but that won’t stop me from feeling it. And I know you love me, even though you can’t say it. And, I know why you are afraid. Sshh, don’t say anything. I’m not Henry, I would never, ever treat you the way Henry did. He was a fool.” John leaned down and kissed her very gently, just brushing his lips across her mouth, then repeating that action over and over until Margaret felt she could barely breathe.

***

The pager screeched, a man took a fall. Margaret groaned and sat up on the sofa. She looked at John as she tucked her shirt, and he smiled and said softly, “Shall I be here when you get back?”

“Oh, you’d better be,” she said with a grin, leaning down for his lips once more. Then she was gone, and John rolled onto his back, smiling. Campaign on track so far. John got up and walked down to the kitchen. 

He had heard Luke earlier, yowling, but didn’t see him right now. Wonder where he went? John started searching, and found the body in the utility room, laying on a pile of unwashed clothing. Oh no, another loss for Margaret. John wrapped Luke’s body in an old towel and left it there, so Margaret could decide what she wanted to do.

***

Margaret leaned over and kissed John softly on the cheek. “Oh, Margaret, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I fell asleep.” John sat up, running his fingers through his air and looking at his watch. “Wow, you were gone a long time.”

“Yes, it wasn’t a simple fall, collar, long board, access was terrible, and then we had to go to the trauma center, etc. You look tired, why don’t you go home. I’ll see you at the gym tomorrow?”

John suddenly remembered about Luke. “Margaret, I have to tell you something. Sit down with me.”

“John, what’s happened?” Margaret refused to sit, expecting bad news.

“It’s Luke. I found him in the laundry area, lying on some clothes. Margaret, I’m sorry.”

John took Margaret in his arms as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I feel terrible crying about this. He had a good long life, I knew he was not doing well, but I just hoped … I’m sorry … ” And then she began to sob so hard, John had to help her sit down. They sat for a long time, with John simply holding her while she cried. They both knew this was for Luke, but it was so much more. Margaret knew they would have to talk about it, but not tonight. Tonight she fell asleep in John’s arms, exhausted from crying.

 

Chapter 23. The Campaign Continues.

 

“How are you feeling today, Mother?” John asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Actually, I feel very good, I’m looking forward to going home at last.” Hannah looked at John inquiringly. “I thought you were coming home last night. How is Margaret?”

“Luke died last night. Just one more loss for her, she took it very hard.” Margaret hadn’t wanted to talk this morning, so John had quietly told her he loved her, kissed her on the forehead and left. “Thought I’d take a ride rather than do the gym today. Is there anything you want me to do for you before I go out?”

“Yes, you can tell me if you want to go to Ireland next week with me and Fran,” she said with a smile. “We’re going for four days. We’ll leave Wednesday and return Sunday so I won’t miss any treatments. Don’t even think about arguing with me, John, I’ve already decided I’m going.”

John was startled by the news. “Mother, are you sure? You sometimes feel sick after your treatment. If you’re certain, then, yes, count me in. I’d love to see Beth and Niall and Catherine Hannah again.” John hesitated for a moment, thinking, then said, “Mother, how would you feel if I invited Margaret along on your trip? I really don’t know if she’ll come, but I’d like to ask her.”

Hannah smiled. “I thought you might say that. Fran and I think it’s a good idea. I hope she’ll agree.”

***

“John, we’ll meet Charlie and a friend at Finnegan’s in Milton at 7:30 tonight.” John had told Margaret he wanted to meet her friends, starting with Charlie, if possible. He wanted Margaret to know he was serious about respecting her other friendships. She hadn’t seen John since he left her that morning after Luke died. I wonder if he stayed away yesterday so I’ll see how much I miss him. Well, if so, it worked and it was only one day. That doesn’t bode well for my determination. They agreed that Margaret would meet John at his house and they would take her car to the restaurant.

“Before we go out, I need to ask you something. We’re going to Ireland next week, to see Beth and Catherine Hannah. Niall too, of course, but the father is the least important person here as far as the women in my life are concerned. Anyway, we all hope you’ll come with us, next Wednesday, back on Sunday. Please think about it?” John smiled at Margaret, who looked astonished at the sudden suggestion. “Think about it and let me know tomorrow or the day after at the latest, okay, so we can get reservations? Now, we’d better get going.”

John flushed with embarrassment at his earlier behaviour as soon as he realized that Charlie and Kevin were dating, not just good friends. Margaret saw what he had just understood and smiled, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. She had never talked about Charlie’s sexual preference, it was just such an integral part of him, she hadn’t thought to discuss it.

They had chosen to eat at a pub, and the men all ordered beer. Margaret just smiled and ordered a lager too. John had never seen Margaret drink alcohol before, and now he knew why. Long before she finished her pint of beer, she was definitely under the influence, in every sense of the word. She talked and smiled and laughed, a lot, at everyone. She moved closer to John in the booth and leaned against him in a very suggestive manner, which he quite liked. He laughed to himself, no wonder she doesn’t have any alcohol in the house. They enjoyed their meal, and Margaret just smiled as Charlie and John became better acquainted.

When they were all standing outside the restaurant saying goodnight, Margaret put her arms around Charlie and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. Charlie laughed and kissed her back, telling John, very seriously, to take good care of her. She kept touching his arm as they walked to her car, and he realized that was how she was steadying herself as she walked. She dug out her keys and gave them to him and sank into the passenger seat, closing her eyes. “I don’t drink, John.”

“No kidding,” he said, smiling and shaking his head. 

John drove to his house and they went inside. Hannah looked up from the lounge and got up quickly. “Don’t worry, Mother. Margaret’s just … well, she drank a pint of beer and … she’s not herself. I’m going to put her in the bedroom next to mine for the night. She can drive herself home in the morning.”

Hannah frowned, shaking her head. “John, you got Margaret drunk? You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Mother! I did no such thing. We had dinner with Charlie, and she had one beer, and this is how she is with one beer. It’s no wonder she never drinks. I just didn’t want to take her home and just leave her. I don’t know if she gets sick … . Anyway, she’s staying the night.”

John walked Margaret to one of the guest bedrooms, gave her a pair of his pajamas to put on and left the room. He peeked back in the room five minutes later and Margaret was sound asleep on top of the covers. He pulled the covers up, kissed her cheek and left. He got up twice during the night to check on her, but she was sleeping soundly.

“Good morning. Why am I here in some really big person’s pajamas, instead of at home in my own?” Margaret stood in the kitchen doorway in John’s pajamas with a big smile on her face. 

“Good morning.” John stood and pulled out a chair at the table for her. She looks cheerful, guess she doesn’t have a hangover. “You were a bit under the weather after we left the restaurant, so I thought it best that you not be alone, just in case you were sick. How are you feeling? And I like you in my pajamas, by the way,” John said with a smile. 

“Well, I was glad to find myself in something this morning.” She grinned cheekily at John, then sat. “I don’t drink much and sometimes it seems to go right to my head. Probably what happened last night, right?” She looked a bit sheepishly at John. He laughed out loud, and kissed her cheek.

“Are you hungry? I don’t know what you eat or drink for breakfast, Margaret.” John smiled, I’m having breakfast with Margaret, another milestone. Should I ask right away about Ireland, or wait until she’s in her own clothes?

Hannah walked in just then. “Margaret, Fran and I hope you’ve said yes to coming to Ireland with us. It’s a great time to be going, and Catherine Hannah must be ready to walk by now. Have you seen the Cliffs of Moher? Beth and Niall live outside Galway, so we’re quite close. We’ve found a very nice b&b near Beth’s, and there are enough rooms for all of us. So, please tell me it’s a yes.” Hannah looked expectantly at Margaret. John smiled surreptitiously. Margaret would say no to me faster than she would to Hannah.

Margaret smiled and took a deep breath. “Yes, Hannah, I think it sounds great, and … yes, I would like to go. I’ll talk to Nick, I’m sure he’ll get cover for me.” She glanced up at John and saw his grin, and smiled herself. “And yes, I’ve seen the cliffs, quite a sight. I’ve been to Ireland several times.”

***

“I’ll have the trout, please. And salad, and a glass of Harp.” She laughed at the look John gave her. “John, when we were out with Charlie and Kevin, I hadn’t eaten all day, so … I’ll be fine, and we’re walking back to the house. Don’t worry.” It was their last night in Ireland, and Margaret was in a wonderful mood. Walking near the cliffs last night had been magical, with John’s arm around her, the setting sun teasing the water, and birds everywhere. She hadn’t realized how much she needed time away.

“Salmon, potatoes, salad, and a glass of Guinness, please. Margaret, … ” John just looked into Margaret’s eyes and leaned close and kissed her lightly on the lips. He sighed, at a loss for words, remembering the days, and the nights. They had separate rooms at the b&b and John had left Margaret at her door the first night, kissing her deeply before telling her quietly that he loved her, then turning and walking down the hall. He’d done exactly the same thing the next night, and when he reached his door, he found Margaret right behind him.

She followed him into his room, shut the door and jumped him - the only way to describe her assault. They had made love for the first time in several days and John had been surprised at how … hungry Margaret had been. “I missed you, I was getting withdrawal symptoms. You’re mean, John Thornton. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to, keeping your distance, thinking I will give in. Well, I won’t.”

John raised his eyebrows, and smirked. “So who followed whom in here? I’m not up to anything. I love you, and want to be with you, and I am, so I’m a happy man. For now. If you think you can use me strictly as a sex toy, well, you can ... but just for a while.” He grinned and grabbed Margaret and kissed her and they sank back into the mattress for another assault.

***

Just four days after they returned from Ireland, Mary, Stephen and the children were at Margaret’s front door. Margaret was going to keep Tom and Kate for two nights while Mary and Stephen attended Stephen’s college reunion.

John went upstairs to say goodnight to the children. Twenty minutes later Margaret went upstairs, wondering if he needed rescuing. She quietly opened Tom’s door just in time to hear John saying, “Good night, Tom.” She closed the door and waited outside. John raised his eyebrows when he saw her right outside. “Did you think I couldn’t find my way back to you?” he asked with a grin.

“That was a very long time to say good night. I thought they’d taken you hostage.”

“Well, first, it was two good nights because they are in separate bedrooms. And second, each of them wanted a bedtime story. So Kate got ‘I’m not Going Out There’ and Tom got ‘Flat Stanley’. They both said they’d never heard their story before, and seemed to like them, so I think I did pretty well. And, I enjoyed it.” John finished with a smile. Then Margaret saw the frown follow.

“What, John?” she asked, putting her arm around his waist as they walked downstairs.

“Well, I was just thinking that I didn’t really do that with Max and Beth very often. I was too busy with my career, always at the hospital and office. I wasn’t a good father, Margaret.” John sighed.

“John, you provided for them, gave them everything they needed, including a mother who doted on them, as you have told me. And you gave them a great example of a very good person, something that’s very important. And you were there when you could be. Beth obviously loves you very much, so you did that right.” Margaret stopped and turned to John. “We all have regrets, parts of the past we don’t want to think about, but you did your best and you’re still doing your best. And I … admire you for that.”

John looked at Margaret. She can’t say it yet. I can see it there, but she can’t say it. It’s okay, I can wait as long as she needs. John put his arms around Margaret, told her he loved her, kissed her good night and went home. Margaret watched him leave, fighting the urge to call him back and tell him how she really felt.

Chapter 24. An Unexpected Visitor.

Margaret was smiling, watching Tom and Kate play frisbee on the grass near the lake. John had taken them to Shaw Park for a picnic. Mary and Stephen were due back later in the day. She was watching the children while John was concentrating on her neck and shoulders, massaging her muscles which ached from heavy lifting on her last call.

“So, how big was that patient?” he murmured into her ear, giving her lobe a nibble.

“Hundreds; we almost called the FD, but we had three officers there, so we did it ourselves. And then the ER nurse was rude on the radio about the patient’s size, and she heard and was upset. Not good.” Margaret sighed. “Oohh, that feels good. You could go into massage therapy, John, put it on a business card alongside personal trainer.” She laughed as he pinched her playfully. “Mind you, that could put you into the next tax bracket, along with the two or three dollars a year you make as an orthopedist.”

John continued the massage. “Margaret, I’ve permanently resigned my position as head of orthopedics at St. Joseph’s.”

Margaret turned quickly to face him, startled by what he’d said. “But, you’re going home soon. What are you going to do? You’re keeping your share of your practice, aren’t you?”

“Yes, for now, though I haven’t taken any compensation for quite a while. I’m still thinking about that, I may sell my share and just be on staff at the hospital. Margaret, I’ve worked so long and hard and loved it. But until Hannah got sick and we came here, I didn’t realize what I was missing. Not even the divorce slowed me down. That should have been the wake up call, but with my family gone, it was just easier to put in even more hours. I don’t want to do that now. There are much more important things.” John stared at Margaret intently, then leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, then moved down to her cheek, then brushed her lips with his. Margaret leaned towards him for another kiss, but John just smiled and got up to play frisbee with the children.

Margaret watched as they played, then saw the children get together to pull John onto the grass and jump on him. He pretended he couldn’t get up and the children laughed and laughed. Margaret called Kate and Tom over to have some fruit, and watched John roll over and prop himself on his elbows, smiling at her. Margaret, you are so lost, and he knows it. Better call Matthew soon.

They all went out for dinner that night, but the children apparently hadn’t burned quite enough energy at the park. Part way through dinner Kate and Tom were both out of their seats, walking around the table and annoying other diners. Mary spoke to them, but they weren’t listening. John looked at Margaret and rolled his eyes. 

“Kate. Tom” They immediately stopped, hearing that deep voice but not seeing a smile on John’s face. “If either of you is interested in a bedtime story tonight, I think you had better behave yourself right now and sit down. You are being rude, and I know you know better.”

Mary watched in astonishment as Kate and Tom both made a dash for their chairs, and picked up their forks again. She looked at John, who just shrugged and said, “Sorry, just thought you needed a little help there.”

John did bedtime stories again that night after the children were bathed. When he came downstairs at last, Mary asked him about the stories he told. She had never heard of ‘The Lost Acorns’ or ‘The Dinosaur Cafe’, and asked him to email her the source so she would be able to tell them to the children herself.

John stood and said goodnight to Mary and Stephen and Margaret walked him to the door. “John, why are you leaving so early? I thought we might have some time to ourselves later,” she said with a mischievous smile.

“Very funny. Margaret, you have a houseful of guests, and they are leaving tomorrow. You don’t see them that often, and you see me all the time. In fact,” he looked at her intently and then grinned, raising his eyebrows, “you can’t get rid of me. I’ll see you tomorrow at the gym. Sleep well. I love you.” He kissed her and left, smiling.

***

Margaret was relaxing with Nick after a particularly bad call, both of them having already talked about what just happened from every angle they could, making sure they had done everything possible. Neither was ready to go home.

“I’m going to call Matthew, I can’t put it off any longer. I have to know what he’s willing to do. We should have talked a long time ago.” 

“When did you last speak to him?”

“Christmas, maybe? I haven’t actually seen him in three years. I send him emails when I feel he needs to know something about Mother. I don’t think he’s visited her in the past year.” Margaret’s brother lived in Pennsylvania, about the same distance from their mother as she did, but he’d never been one to visit or keep in touch. She didn’t think it was because he didn’t care, just that it had always been easier to let Margaret be “hands on” with Maria.

Margaret was fond of her older brother, but they had never been close. They had grown up in the same household, but seemed to have nothing in common other than parents. Margaret was always outdoors as a child, while Matthew stayed inside. Margaret was fascinated by the sciences, Matthew loved music and art. Margaret had never lived at her parents’ house again once she left for university, Matthew had lived there until he was nearly thirty. They were brother and sister, but not friends.

Margaret needed to know what Matthew was thinking about Maria’s forgetfulness, whether he was aware she might not be able to live on her own much longer, and most importantly, whether Maria could live with or near him rather than Margaret. When Henry was still with Margaret, she hadn’t really given this much thought. They had both assumed that when the time came, Maria would move to Crampton. Now there was John, and Margaret needed to know, soon, exactly what her options were.

Margaret sat back, putting down the telephone and exhaling slowly. I can’t believe it. I should have called much sooner, I wouldn’t have worried so much. Matthew had said he was getting ready to call her to discuss Maria. He and Melissa would be moving to within ten miles of Maria’s house in the next four months. Melissa had been offered a promotion which required relocation and they factored Maria’s needs into their decision. They were looking for a house that would accommodate all of them.

Matthew had apologized to Margaret for leaving her with the care of Maria since their father died. He felt it was his turn now, and they both knew that Maria preferred him to Margaret anyway, so if she had to move in with one of them, she would be happier if it were Matthew.

***

“You seem very happy today. Anything special happen?” John was on the next treadmill, halfway through his workout.

“Well, I had a long talk with my big brother and … things are really good. He’s moving near my mother because of his wife’s job, and they’re going to be helping her. I’ll still see her, of course, but I’m not alone taking care of her anymore. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.”

John smiled, but said nothing. One more hurdle gone, what would happen to her mother if she moved into “the middle.”

“Margaret, where is your microplane grater?” John was muttering to himself. He was cooking dinner, tortellini with salmon and peas, but he still didn’t know where most things were in Margaret’s kitchen. She had everything, she loved kitchen stores, but he still hadn’t figured out locations. Margaret walked back into the kitchen and opened the drawer with the grater, and left again. A minute later, “Margaret, where is the colander?” he yelled.

“John, if you want me to cook the dinner, just say so. Or if I have to stay in the kitchen with you and hold your hand, tell me now, so I don’t have to come down here again.” She bit back a laugh as he turned to scowl at her, and saw she was teasing him.

“John, … ” Margaret moaned, as John kissed her neck again. She was sitting on his lap, her hands in his hair, her eyes closed, wishing he would carry her into the bedroom. “I want you, John. Now. Please.” She opened her eyes to see him looking at her, smiling. “Dinner was lovely, and I want you for dessert.” John grinned, and picked her up.

***

Margaret smiled, remembering last night. John had been so sweet. He had made love to her so very slowly, till she had to beg him. He refused to spend the night anymore, but she was working on that. She’d bring him round; she had to. She missed him when he left. What am I going to do when he goes home in two or three weeks if I miss him overnight now? Damn. I don’t have to think about it yet. Right, Scarlett. Margaret got up and went down to the kitchen to make tea.

As she filled the kettle, she heard the front door open and close. She turned.

“Henry! What are you doing here?”

Chapter 25. Henry Redux.

“Henry! What are you doing here?” Margaret blushed, and ran past Henry and up the stairs. She had been in the kitchen preparing tea, and hadn’t gotten dressed yet. All she had on was a cami and knickers, not what she wanted to be wearing when her ex-husband walked in the door.

When she returned to the kitchen, dressed, Henry was sitting at the breakfast table. He stood to kiss her on the cheek, looking her up and down as he walked to her. “Hi, Margaret. You look … wonderful.”

Damn right I do. Your loss. Margaret smiled at Henry. “Why are you here? I guess you didn’t give me back all the keys to the house, hmm?”

Henry told Margaret that he had come to Crampton for business and personal reasons. Several investments that they had agreed to divide had finally matured; they had documents to sign. The financial advisor they used was in Manhattan, and Henry wanted Margaret to go with him Friday to take care of that business, then spend the rest of the day in the city with him. “I haven’t been to MoMA in a long time,” he said.

“And what’s the personal business, Henry?” Margaret asked, after agreeing to the first proposal.

“Well, our college reunion is this weekend. Did you forget? I thought it would be fun to spend Saturday at the campus, see the changes they’ve made, maybe see some old classmates. What do you think? Will you come with me for the day?” Henry smiled and Margaret wondered again what had gone wrong between them. They had been so good together for so long. She sighed. 

“I had forgotten it was this weekend. I considered going, but wasn’t … Well, I think I didn’t really want to go alone. The last few reunions we went to together and I just … . Too many questions. Why don’t we see how tomorrow goes in the city and then decide?” 

Henry agreed, then looked at her, and said carefully, “Margaret, I was a bit lax in planning this trip. I didn’t get a hotel room yet. Is it possible … ?” Henry raised his eyebrows and looked at her, trying for an impish grin, and failing.

‘Lax in planning’? Henry’s always been a bit scattered about such things, but this is a little suspicious. But what’s the harm? There is no attraction any more, and I want to be friends with him. “Of course you can stay, Henry. You know the rooms, just pick which one you want.” She saw Henry’s raised eyebrow and grin. “Within reason, Henry,” and he laughed.

Margaret skipped the gym that morning, spending the day with Henry going through piles of old photos, more books, dvds and cds, which had never been divided completely, and of course, reminiscing. Neither of them talked about Jane. When they went out to dinner that night, they saw Nick and Jo. Margaret spoke briefly with Nick, telling him she would be bringing Henry to his party Saturday night. Nick just nodded, wondering what was going on.  
On Friday Margaret and Henry completed the financial business, then spent four hours in MoMA and the Guggenheim. Henry had tickets to a Broadway play, so it was nearly midnight by the time they were back in Crampton. As they were saying good night outside Margaret’s bedroom, she told Henry she would go to the reunion with him the next day. He kissed her softly on the cheek and looked at her questioningly. 

“Margaret, are you happy? Do you like living alone? Because I’m not, and I don’t. I miss you. I just want you to know that …” He took a deep breath. “I still love you and want to be with you. I think you are a fabulous woman, and … well, I’m a dope, but we both know that already. Think about me tonight, think about us, think about forgiving me and trying again. I’ll see you in the morning.”

***

John had missed Margaret now for three days at the gym. She isn’t answering her mobile. And I saw a strange car in the driveway. Funny, she didn’t mention visitors. Things have been going so well, she was so close the other night to telling me. Well, I’ll see her tonight at Nick’s.

Margaret and Henry spent quite a lot of time talking to people they didn’t remember. They walked around campus arm in arm, whispering to each other when they spotted someone they remembered, placing them in nerd or non-nerd categories. As chemistry and mathematics majors themselves, they placed themselves squarely in the nerd category, so felt no guilt in laughing about classmates and how they appeared to have turned out.

They wandered over to President’s Hall for the lunch buffet, enjoying looking at the yearbooks on the table as they ate. They heard her before they saw her, and they both cringed. “Margaret! Henry! How wonderful to see you. Oh, I was so hoping you two would be here. Now, just sit there so I can get a picture of you two lovebirds, still together after all these years.”

“Marianne, how have you been?” Margaret held out her hand and Marianne ignored it, turning her dazzling smile to Henry. She was crazy about Henry when we were in school, and she’s still crazy. I should tell her we’re divorced, but Henry might strangle me.

“Marianne, how nice to see you. Oh, Margaret, I see you’re finished eating. I wanted to show you the new science building. So sorry, Marianne, we were just leaving.” With that, Henry pulled Margaret out of her chair and ushered her toward the exit. “Margaret, I saw that look on your face, you were about to tell her we’re divorced. Don’t you dare!” They both laughed quietly and walked quickly away as Marianne watched them, a frown on her face.

***

“Henry, you don’t have to come if you don’t want. You might want to rest for your trip home tomorrow.” Margaret was getting dressed for Nick’s party. Henry had done all the driving that day and the traffic had been terrible.

“I’m fine, Margaret, we’re the same age, remember? I’m not tottering from a day out. I’m looking forward to seeing all the old Crampton crowd again. I assume it will be a lot of ambulance corps people, plus Nick’s arts friends and Jo’s group.”

Margaret hid her annoyance. He wouldn’t have spoken that way two years ago. They had been his friends then as well. Now he is friends only with corporate executives who have no time to volunteer for anything that doesn’t make money, and lots of it. ... Not fair, Margaret. Henry supported you for years by making the money, so you could volunteer. You know he has dozens of interests which he’d like to pursue if he had more time. He’ll be able to give more of his time when he doesn’t have to work so hard.

Everyone stopped talking when Margaret and Henry walked out onto Nick’s patio. “Well, we certainly put a damper on this party, didn’t we?” Henry muttered under his breath, turning and smiling at Margaret. “What did you tell them I did to you?” Henry laughed softly, “Well, I guess the truth would have been sufficient for them all to hate me.”“Henry, no one here hates you. There was blame enough for both of us, and our friends know it was not one-sided, so relax. You have lots of friends here still. Start talking to them, I’m going to talk to Nick.” Margaret kissed Henry on the cheek as encouragement, then walked over to where Nick was standing at the grill.

John had arrived at the party just a few minutes before Margaret. He saw her in the doorway, and started towards her, smiling. She’s wearing that lovely pink top that I have such fond memories of. John stopped suddenly. Henry! So that’s where she’s been. John stood still, watching them talk for a few minutes, then saw Margaret give Henry a quick kiss on the cheek and walk over to Nick. John walked up to Henry and stuck out his hand.

“Henry, quite a surprise to see you again. How are you? How is San Francisco?” John smiled, although he wasn’t sure he was breathing quite right.

John and Henry chatted for several minutes about inconsequential things, neither of them paying any attention to what the other was saying, both of them watching Margaret. She saw them looking at her and excused herself from the group she was with, walking over to them. She looked from one to the other, amused at the expressions on both of them.

“So, are you two getting reacquainted?” No answer. “I didn’t think so. Henry, let’s dance, please.” As Henry turned to walk to the deck, Margaret turned to John and said very quietly, “I hope you’re not going anywhere soon, John.” And she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Henry took Margaret into his arms with a very self-satisfied look on his face. They danced slowly, just looking around for a while at the people around the patio and pool. John stood with Nick, watching from a distance, just waiting, knowing something was happening. Nick just told me he saw them two nights ago, and he’s been staying with her. He’s trying to get her back, again. He won’t succeed. I know she loves me. Now, Henry’s going to hear it before I do. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Fine, I can wait. John saw Margaret start talking. He couldn’t hear what she was saying, but Henry didn’t look thrilled. Good. Tell him to go home, alone.

“Henry, I’m not sure what you hoped would happen this weekend. What you said last night - I did think about you and us. I love you too, but not in the same way anymore. I love you as the father of my only child, as the partner and best friend I had for decades. But I don’t love you as a lover anymore.” 

“Margaret, I was a fool and we both know it. Some middle aged madness, I was getting older and someone younger fancying me made me feel young. Of course it didn’t last, it was illusory, … ” Henry said.

Margaret interrupted. “I’m sorry, Henry, but - I don’t mean this in a mean way - none of that matters to me anymore. I don’t care why any of it happened. I don’t love you that way now, and I never will again. I love someone else.” Henry looked at her sharply, and then looked over to where John was standing. “Yes.”

“But Margaret, he lives a thousand miles away, in the middle, for God’s sake. It’s the same problem you and I had when I went to San Francisco and you stayed here, how is that going to work? At least I live in a decent city. And what about Maria? Margaret, I think we should try again, I’ve changed, I’ve learned my lesson.” Henry pulled Margaret closer and kissed her cheek.

Margaret pulled away. “John and I will work it out somehow, I don’t know how yet. I know he loves me, and I love him. That’s what counts, Henry, you know that … or at least you used to.” She kissed Henry on the cheek, and stepped away from him. “Henry, I love you for who you were to me, but we’re not those people anymore. The woman I am now is in love with John.” 

Margaret walked away from Henry to where John was standing. “John, will you dance with me?”

Chapter 26. Margaret’s Confession.

Margaret left Henry on the deck and walked over to John and Nick. “John, will you dance with me?”

John smiled. “Of course I’ll dance with you, Margaret.” John put his arms around Margaret, buried his face in her hair, closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Oh God, this woman. I can breathe again. He lifted his head and smiled at her. “Shall we go up to the deck, or do you want to stay here?” 

“The deck, please. I’m remembering when we first danced together and it was this very deck. I’d like to repeat that performance.” Margaret gave John a very sly smile, and took his hand, leading him onto the deck. John looked around, but couldn’t see Henry anywhere. He took Margaret in his arms, and she nestled right up to his chest and sighed deeply. What did she say? Repeat performance? She couldn’t mean ... 

John closed his eyes and held her tightly, kissing the top of her head every few moments. They danced for a while, John not even noticing the music. His movements got slower and slower, until he just stood, looking at Margaret. “Margaret, let’s sit for a minute, I’d like to talk.“ They left the deck and walked around the far garden path to a bench and sat. “Margaret, what happened? Why is Henry here?”

She looked at him for quite a while, and he waited. He discovered some time ago that being patient with Margaret was well rewarded. She took one of his large hands into hers, stroking the back of it while she was thinking what to say.

“John, I’m not sure why this happened again. Henry just walked into the house Thursday morning, I was so surprised … ” She stopped and John saw a strange look on her face, but she was smiling. Should I tell him I was in my underwear and wouldn’t have minded if he had been the one through the door? Probably not, he’ll only be upset that Henry saw me. Not that Henry hasn’t seen a lot more, but not for some time now.

“We actually had quite a good time these three days. We spent the day in Manhattan yesterday, went to the museums, saw a play.“ Another long pause. “We went to our college reunion today. There were so many things that reminded us of better days. We saw a lot of old classmates, there’s a new science building … .“ Margaret’s voice trailed off. She was just rambling, none of that was important and they both knew it. 

She took a deep breath. “He says he’s still in love with me. He said he has been a fool.” She looked at John, and he saw the tiniest smile. Margaret was remembering John had used the same word when he spoke of Henry. “He wants to try again. He asked me to come to San Francisco for a couple of weeks next month … ”

John gazed intently at the woman he loved as she talked about another man who loved her. Stay calm. She loves you, not him. You know it, and she knows it. I just hope she told him. He took her hand and raised it to his mouth, turning it over and kissing the palm lightly. “Have you given him your answer?”

“Yes.” Margaret had tears in her eyes, and John wasn’t sure why. “I told him I’m not the same person I was when we were married. I’m a different person, and I do still love him, … I’ll always love him ... but not the way he wants me to. The woman I am now … ” Margaret stopped talking and threw her arms around John’s neck and cried softly. 

John held Margaret while she cried, and then she calmed herself. “I’m sorry, John. I … I never really talked to you about what I was thinking the night Luke died. I know you knew I wasn’t crying just for Luke. His death was just the last of so many things that changed my life from what it had been for so long. And I guess I was grieving for all of those losses, for being forced to make changes that I didn’t want to make. My life was so out of control.” 

She hesitated, and looked up at John. His breath caught in his throat as he saw her anguish. She looked away from his searching eyes, down to her hands, and continued. “I’m not the strong person you think I am. I’m such a fraud, John. I was so scared, I didn’t really want a new life. I’ve been afraid of so many things.” She stopped again, looking everywhere but at John, agitated. Keep going. Get it all out in the open, so he knows what he’s getting, if he still wants you after what you have to tell him … “I knew what you wanted,” she looked briefly at him and gave him a weak smile, “you certainly told me often enough. But I couldn’t … ” The smile faded as she thought what she wanted to say next. 

Her mouth trembled as she spoke, and she brushed tears from her cheeks. “My life here had already changed so much, for the worse, … I thought, … I was afraid to let go of what I had left - my friends, my house, my own familiar routine. I thought I would lose myself completely if I didn’t cling to what I still had, even though it was so little. It didn’t matter that something, someone else might be better, the thought of more change scared me. Oh, John, … I’m such a coward. Can you forgive me?” Margaret sobbed as she said this, and John’s heart cried for her.

John held her tightly. “Margaret, there is nothing to forgive. You are brave and strong. I see it every day. No, no, let me tell you what I see, what I know. A woman who lost her only child, and is happy to see his widow remarry when she finds love again. A woman whose husband betrayed her, and not just once, but who nevertheless gave him the benefit of the doubt more times than he deserved. And who still welcomes the fool into her house when he shows up unannounced.” Margaret laughed through her tears, protesting that it wasn’t all Henry’s fault.

“No, of course it wasn’t all Henry’s fault. You forced him to go behind your back, to ignore his marriage vows.” Margaret started to protest, and John hushed her. “All right, all right, I won’t blame everything on Henry, Katrina wasn’t his fault - probably.” Margaret punched him on the arm, and he pretended to be hurt, and insisted on a kiss before he could continue. Margaret smiled at his playfulness. She was starting to feel better.

“Margaret, you could have made Henry absolutely miserable during the divorce, and I know you didn’t. You could have walked away with many more assets than you did, but you are too fair minded to do that. And your care for strangers amazes me, the things you do for others when you could just ignore the need, hoping as most people do that ‘someone else’ will do the job. That’s the first thing that Hannah knew about you, and she loved you for it.” John stopped, because he was tired of talking and just wanted to kiss Margaret. 

“You are not a coward, you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, and I love you. I love the woman you are now, after all of those losses. My beautiful, strong Margaret.“ He looked deeply into her eyes, and then one corner of his mouth went up in a half smile. “You certainly have stood firm against me for a very long time,“ he said ruefully, and then pulled her closer to kiss her.

After several minutes, Margaret whispered, “John, this is very enjoyable, more than enjoyable, but can we dance again?”

“Oohh, … “ John moaned. “Are you sure you don’t want to just stay here? I’m really comfortable as is,” he said as he kissed her neck again, and, having found the bottom edge of the pink top, he was slowly stroking the warm skin of her back. 

“Dance with me, John Thornton, please,” she said, standing up and holding out her hand. John sighed and stood. They walked up to the deck, and John saw Nick wink at Margaret. 

She smiled at him and sank into his arms, resting her head on his chest. After a few minutes, he felt her hands moving, and she reached up to caress his cheek and kiss him lightly on the lips. She gave him a wicked smile, and kissed him again, her tongue encroaching in his mouth. John searched her face to see if she really meant what he thought she did, and she smiled and walked off the deck without a word or a backward glance.

John followed Margaret through the house, out through the garage door and down that path they had walked so many weeks ago. She took his hand and led him behind the shed. “John, do you remember the last time we were here?”

John laughed softly. “How could I forget?” He took her in his arms and kissed her gently. “Are you hoping for an encore performance?” he whispered in her ear, teasing her with kisses on her neck.

“No,” she said softly. John looked up, startled. Well, that’s not what I expected. “John, I just wanted us to be here when I told you, when I said it. I’ve known it for a long time. You have too, I could see it in your eyes. I was just afraid. But I’m not afraid any more.” 

She looked up, and John could see her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “I love you, John. And I’m not afraid of that any more. I love you.” 

John almost cried out with relief, and crushed Margaret to his chest. “Margaret, I love you. I’ll never love anyone else, ever. Please say you’ll marry me. Please.”

He let Margaret go and looked at her face. She was smiling and he could still see those sparkling eyes. “Yes, John, I will marry you. I love you.”

And there was an encore performance after all.

THE END.


End file.
